Flo....You had that vocab tangent goin on. I think you focused far too much on Vocab and abstract imagery that you forgot to give the piece the rest of its body and an ending.No doubt your skill shines through....hands down, you got what it takes. Just for future purposes...let your words breath. Sometimes short simplicity is good, almost like navigating a vessel....a small turn of the wheel can make all the difference between something road worthy and a wreck.Other than that you had a very interesting piece and approach.
TD.....Good to see you still doin it. I love the way you can apply a few different environments to this piece. Its always great to give the reader a window in which to paint the landscape while you narrate the characters motions and emotions. I did wish that the piece was longer and had a definite outcome but I guess thats what was so cool....you left me wondering if she had hooked up. Good drop
V/Topical
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