C.S. - I acknowledge the dopeness of your opening...nice tone, nice cut to get into the verse. the rest was more or less a recap of what happened, how Lincoln's legacy ran off into history, and I suspect you just watched the Movie of the same name
was not feeling the repeat hook, I felt it was effective in the opener, but less effective to bridge your expose.
Quote:
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If you don't teach a man to fish, you damn well better feed him.
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cool line
Quote:
See Honest Abe was shaping legislative napalm
and expecting us blacks to burn the motherfucking place down.
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cool lines
G- the bold highlights distracted me from reading, so in that case I had to go through it again, props to you...got people to reread your stuff lol
I'm with Z that your LN's were corny and to me seem out of place, I do understand it's an exersize so it is what it is...a original story that was creative in it's dialog and developments...took some safe turns with some characters but all in all I can't say I did not enjoy this one. Some good use of your topic and your own spin on it...... .... ...
v/G