There's a lot going on in this verse. Your skill is obvious from the onset, and mostly this feels like a flexing of skill. The opening paints an interesting picture, but the verse was never going to be contained to a central topic, and that was obvious from the way you built it up.
I prefered the back half of the verse, though, because the flexing was more obvious and you stepped away from the persistent use of the letters and alliteration. These lines in particular were strong:
Quote:
Cause I have to cater to each fad
And play along to trap your brains and leave you with a lasting crater
|
Your rhyming and flow were overshadowed early on by the massive alliteration. It was tongue-tying, even as I read it in my head. But that loosened up along with everything else as you got going. Your skill as a whole was on display in an impressive verse that showcased a lot of different styles.
It may not have been a traditional verse for a topical league, but it worked nonetheless.