alright i had to re-read this bc both did a good job n came totally diff
certain - u came on some dead prez type sht to me (lol.) approaching with a real powerful topic, and doing so quite well, along w the challenege. Unlike zygote, i enjoyed ur refrain and felt it brought it all together. I did enjoy ur second verse, more then ur first, it read with more an emotional tone to me, first was more informative...think its bc of ur wordchoice.
gaz - i also enjoyed ur approach. I feel u may have used the challenge slightly more then ur opponent, but at risk of some content. Dont get me wrong, I enjoyed ur story and felt it was written well and entertaining. However, as zygote pointed out, the way u used the challenge got a little formulaic. Every couplet ended with the same kinda L,N pattern, and the L,N wasn't utilized as well (in the body) as for ur end rhymes. I felt if u woulda scattered it more, and not focused on end rhymes with it as much, ur content may have been improved (not saying it was bad at all though.) Also, unlike zygote, i did kinda enjoy ur final twist.
Overall - Both participants did very well imo. Certain came with a provoking topic, utilized the challenge throughout, and kept me (the reader) intrigued. Gaz came with a more fantasy like topic, told a story that was entertaining, and utilized the challenge in means of interesting descriptive words, but in a formulaic sense. Both verses were dope tho imo. But i gotta go with who's approach/topic i enjoyed more, and utilized the challenge to the best degree.
v/certain
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