[Certain]

I liked the nameless narration. The repetition of "he" both accentuated the everyman qualities of the subject and avoided distracting from more important details.

There were times the imagery felt too familiar, too similar to every other description of heroin use in every song and book and movie and TV show. But there were a few nice, unique details, like using toilet water because the dealer's house didn't have running water (though, how did the toilet get full?). And as a whole, the straightforward style definitely accentuated the desperation of the details. I loved the mayonnaise device, presenting us this completely random thing at the beginning of the verse before finally getting around to explaining after everything about the story has changed.

I did wish there was a bit more work put into the rhyme scheme. Some lines were too long. Some rhymes were too simple. You can put together this style of story without forgoing the rap format quite as much.

But the effort and the uniqueness was very appreciated.