dead man - Good work, told in the language of the Masque in Black. Your patiently laced flow gave this a smooth entry into the mind and interpreting consciousness of the reader. I've been told I don't have a complete grasp over emotional writing, especially when it comes to written verses so I don't have any critique for your own development. I feel like the verse could've been somewhat more memorable, with an elaboration on the sights, scents and melodies of the grandfather's life, not so much focused on the funeral aspect of it. Flashbacks and memories usually enrich a piece 9 out of 10 times. This was more of a meaningful telling than a lyrical flex which was a smart choice for the final battle. If Soulstice comes like he did vs. Sacrifice on PR when he had that H.O.R.S.E. verse, you might find yourself in the loss column, tbh.
Soulstice - This was cool but I can't help but feel like this particular topic has been attacked, re-attacked, then hung out to dry, resurrected and recycled over and over again. Sage Francis and even Sacrifice have done fast-paced analysis on the whole human experience hypocrisy / the end of our national sovereignty and Civil Rights, right under our noses. That's not to say this wasn't written with skill or legitimate intention, but for me as the reader it wasn't something I haven't read before. I've examined stuff like this under the light before, so while reading this I was looking forward to an illuminating thought or a beacon to remember it by. Every bar was pretty much deserving of the 'dope' label, but collectively I don't feel like you amassed anything profound to offer beyond the general lyrical palate. The ingrained idea to change my perspective was absent, unless it whizzed by my ear. I think the title speaks for the piece itself: "Beyond the Dream" doesn't really communicate a lasting remnant of unequivocal thought on the part of the writer. It's one of those very solid award winning entries of an art contest that simply gets lost in the file cabinets of more daring escapades. I think it oozed with accurate detail - I'd rather it oozed with some newfound viewpoint to open a glorious door.
Vote - dead man
Nice finals. Respect for making it this far.
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