[WILLIAMSBURG, W.]

ACCORDING TO THE MOST VILLAINOUS BOCA RANTON POLICE THE FOLLOWING OCCURRED;

"The first crime occurred on Friday, March 9 at 73** Rosewood Circle. The caller told Boca Raton Police officers that she saw an unknown male walking out of her father’s open garage carrying an unknown object. She told her father and her husband, who followed the suspect until he got into a white Honda. The husband and father continued to follow the suspect as he drove north on I-95. At one point the suspect pulled off of the road and they confronted the suspect. After a brief exchange, the suspect drove off and the husband and father returned home and discovered that a number of power tools were stolen.

The officer did a computer check on the tag the victim had provided and found the Honda was registered to RETRACTED. Detectives showed the victims a photo line-up and they were able to identify RETRACTED as the person in their garage.

Two days later another caller reported seeing an unknown male, later identified as RETRACTED, leaving her father’s open garage at 3** Cottonwood Lane. The victim confronted RETRACTED, who was carrying a leaf blower, wake board, and air compressor. RETRACTED walked away and got into the same white Honda. A responding officer saw the car heading south on NW 2nd Avenue and attempted to pull it over. However, the driver made several evasive maneuvers before officers stopped him in a parking lot on West Yamato Road.

Officers identified RETRACTED as the driver and the victim was brought to their location and identified RETRACTED as the suspect seen outside his home. When officers searched RETRACTED’s car, they found several pawn slips and drug paraphernalia. Officers charged RETRACTED with two counts of burglary, one count each of fleeing and eluding an officer, driving with a suspended license, and possession of drug paraphernalia. Additional charges may be forthcoming."

Public Service Announcement from BocaNewsNow.com: Chasing a thief is probably not the smartest idea, especially on I-95 — we don’t want to be reporting on anything happening to you. “Stuff” is replaceable. However, a big “nice job” to the homeowners who chased RETRACTED and obtained enough information to let the police do what they do best.

NOW WE TAKE ISSUE WITH SEVERAL OF THE FOLLOWING. IN THE PRECEDING TRIAL OF RAWN NO CLEAR VERDICT WAS REACHED. THERE WAS A TIME WHEN HE WAS OF MODEST DEMEANOR SITTING QUIETLY IN HIS ROOM WEARING LITTLE COTTON GLOVES WHILE TYPING AWAY ON NETCEES.COM SO AS TO NOT BREAK PAROLE CONDITIONS. APART FROM ONE OR TWO CLAIMS OF RESUME WRITING AND ALLIGATOR WRESTLING, ALL WAS FINE AND HE WAS CONTRIBUTING MORE OR LESS AT A TOLERABLE LEVEL. NOW THESE INSTIGATORS SUCH AS GARFUNKEL GARDENFLOW, BAGSWROTH BENTLEY AND THE SO CALLED OFFICIAL TRANSLATOR ARE AGGRAVATING RAWN. THEREFORE, DISCOUNT ANY OF RAWNS COMMENTS HEREIN AS THEY ARE ONLY MADE AS A RESULT OF THIS AGGRAVATION.

TO CONTINUE. WE DRAW ATTENTION TO THESE SO CALLED EVASIVE MANEUVERS. THERE IS NO WAY RAWNS ACTIONS CAN MEET THE LEGAL DEFINITION FOR EVASIVE MANEUVERS WHILE IN THE POSSESSION OF A LEAFBLOWER. FOR HOW CAN A MAN SO EQUIPPED WITH TINY HANDS BOTH HOLD A LEAFBLOWER AND PREFORM EVASIVE MANEUVERS IN AN AUTOMOBILE? IT IS IMPOSSIBLE IN ALL REALITIES. TO EMPHASIZE WE HAVE THESE 10X10CM GLOVES AS EVIDENCE. IF THE GLOVES DON'T FIT YOU MUST ACQUIT! THAT IS OUR SUBMISSIONS IF IT PLEASES THE MOST HIGH COURT.