fuck that hooker. ~shruggs~
 

she's sweet, she's eyefood, she's the reason im postal
screaming my vocals, when she gets me heated -im goku
vegeta, i glow blue, and then become a prince in the booth
im on the barstool climbing tables, my footprints in ur soup
fuck it..
when i black out in pain my tempers insane
love letters, charades, her head games better than bait
set in her ways, dumb as shit thinking she wasnt
at the bar again, one beer into drinking a dozen
the alcohol sinks in my stomache, face is flushed
i never knew a love like this, or a waste of one
my tazer gun set to maximum voltage
depression sets in right after your hopeless
focussed on the bartender, shaking her boobs
she only gives me her attention when i pay her for booze
another plate of the truth, and i aint come here to eat
in the back of my head, i just need somewhere to sleep
before this cup burries me, trying to drink to the death
vomit in the bathroom, fucking sinks in my head
stinks in my breath to the point im annoyed
from my poisonous choice, the poison is moist
a brick wall by mysef, im just poise in the void
a toy
pissed off at these 6o watt bulbs in my room
headache is huge, cant move, roommates amused
rude, one more wise crack and imma jive snap
too late for a i told you so's, thats genocides wrath
asprin tabs all i really need to solve it
and a tall glass of water they can each dissolve in
completely nautious, dry heaving, hock, spit
rings under my eyes seem completely gothic
cant call outta work, i dont need the conflict
but sweet dreams are conscious, wide awake
maybe ill clock in and find a place to hideaway
not today, boss crawling up my ass like a fetish
dont wanna fuckem up to bad, but im tempted
the tension i carry from home's on my sleeves
the look on my face saying dont talk to me
so co-workers awkwardly give me the eye
im like, go ahead and cross that invisible line
to my physical side, where you shouldnt approach
two fists balled up, youll be lookin at both

Realness, and I can relate to the beginning about the hooker, except this upcoming weekend will be the deciding factor on pursuing a stripper lol. This was a good verse. Pinpoint rhymin'

keep doing hues

I realize this was written quickly, but it might be my favorite of the half-dozen verses I've read from you. The emotion pulsated from this, one of the advantages to writing quickly. When you take the time to smooth out wording and rhyme schemes, you can cut into that deeper meaning. The first half was stronger, for sure. The second half was mostly rhymes and surface-level content, though the "crawling up my ass like a fetish" line was terrific.

I'm not sure the verses really go together. I saw you post the first half in the cypher thread and have a general idea where it ended, though I didn't have time to read it then. But I don't mind a giant ball of frustration mounting until you just spewed it out. I've been there. Shit, I'm there practically every time I write.

This was very relatable but kept its mechanics tight. Good work.

Ya. I love finding this old shit i cant even remember writing lol

I love reading verses like this because story
I get message..... it's awesome