Brahmavihara
 

B

Hows school?

I'm learning and seeking more than just knowledge.

Pussy presumably

*whisper*

Who are we? A mere gaggle of compassionate stragglers
May we crash on the road to monotony, rattle the passengers
-Nice wording


then notice you’ve been ordained with a Fijian boat
and a secret cove to sleep in and roam
-imagery here

I look at success as though it’s never in reach
with a cool focus that’d bring steadiness to hysterical speech
-Whoa

diggin' this piece....kinda had a Mos def/Common style to me...smooth wording...wish the ending stood out a lil' more...but still dope drop

ay' why don't you post anything you be doin' on ya soundcloud page??
I think thats you I see postin up those freestyles??

HoLLa

I agree with Kin about this having a similar vibe to Common. The writing in this was a bit different than I'm used to from you, but this was still very good. The lines Kin quoted were good, but I really liked this section the most:

as we learn to be students of life and its beauty
Then we can grasp survival - why we fight for it, truly
as we learn to be students of life and its beauty
Then we can bask in recitals - as disciples of unity

Very good writing. No real critique here. Good stuff.

Man I GOT A increase my skill. This shit is smart man. I fuck wit it.

I gave you reputation for this 2

Who are we? A mere gaggle of compassionate stragglers
May we crash on the road to monotony, rattle the passengers



Excellent. Rep.

Really dope. I like the positive vibes in the first two parts which is real refreshing from most of the depressing shit that is on here. I generally am not into pieces with these types of schemes because I have an attention span of a six year old and I abhor looking things up in the dictionary, I feel like it's giving up you know what I mean bro.

But you managed to keep my attention all the way through the end so that is real impressive.

However the ending line for me doesn't feel like it fits at all. It's almost like you decided to just phone that shit in for the last line after three verses of consistent illness

"is love crafted from wood, granite, sand or a brick
can it be foreclosed on and turned into an abandoned abyss?

uh....um... fuck it...or are my pantz in a twist lulz"

But whatever its still very dope. It made my wiener hard.