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3 ft Veritas
3 Gamble The power of 3, if only you could see what it's truly worth They say that 3 is the mystery that unifies the universe Whether it's the trinity of Christianity, or the Hindu trimorty religion It's all based off 3. I possess this addiction like hermes trismegistus Times confusing, a mind like Isaac Newton with more devotion 1st law inertia, 2nd law f=ma 3rd law equal & opposite.. 3 Laws of Motion The alchemist.. A squared + B squared = C squared, I'm fighting for this All in 3. I discovered this like Greek mathematician Pythagorus More knowledge of 3 than the emerald tablets astonishment Beyond a common sense..3 like the Giza plateau trio of monuments Seems devoted even folklore mythology is 3 in each component 3 amigos, 3 musketeers, 3 wise men and the 3 pagodas 3 little piggies, singing 3 heartbeats anthem for the 3 stooges Even the 3 blind mice could see their was 3 godfathers given 3 strikes in ruling Past, present, future life seems based off of each stage Remember in Genesis.. waters deprecated from earth after 3 days This is sacred text. So remain convinced of... The power of 3, if only you could see what it's truly worth They say that 3 is the mystery that unifies the universe Veritas the number of confirmation, the plan is so sublime because the past present and future is all now for the divine.... wake up: stretch your mind in length, in width, in bredth, the newborn babe cries as life invents a wisp of breath did the velicoraptors die in vain? life shotgunned curt cobain in the brain no mortal man can handle the strain, the artist formerly known as prince's purple rain I would do anything for love, but I wouldn't do that, we call it Meatloaf heart, spine, brain....two points, but and 1....we call it free throw but what does V know? not shit, not poop, not excrement just spitting thatatoxic plot goop and it's best you not mess with it 33 degrees of evil, 33 years of the savior's life in flesh 33 galaxies currently at war and the council doth suggest... that human man know his limits, and listen more than he speak.... because we grow bored with boards like floorboards that love to squeak. the number of confirmation, the plan is so sublime because the past present and future is all now for the divine.... |
Veritas verse sucked really bad
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Lol
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56 views and no feed
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Painfully hard to read at some points. Gamble: I think you tried to do well here, but came off sounding a bit too high off. We get you connected three with things that come in threes. Cool. A lot of things do though, and it's not by nature, it's just how man makes it. And equation can have three parts, but by the way man has maintained an arena of mathematics, that's the way it is. IT can be done differently. We just mingle with the idea of three. And that's jsut it. You didn't delve. You just stated things that meant three. You didn't dig deep, you didn't present something further than that fact. It sounds far to fetch, but it couldve been developed nicely. That's what writers do. They present something that seems far, and bring it down to their level, to their emotion, to their reality. To share all of the aforementioned factors. You didn't do that here. Mechanically, I think you could use some work. Personally, I know you think I'm horrid, but I actually know what I'm doing, so my advice can be taken as sound. If you give me a chance I could rewrite you verse using your information but I'll try to take it a step further in everything that I mentioned, so you can witness what I meant rather than trying to grasp it by my critique alone.
V: You did better than your counterpart. Mechanically I think you could both use work. Just because you personally think your writing is beyond eyes, in present time they're not up to par. Also, not to attack or be volatile, but if you were really this advanced, chosen creature, then why arent the connections there? The instances in which I think people have better mechancis than me are none. I'm sure you don't think that. I'm sure you think you could improve (as do i, but) why is the concept bigger than what you're presenting. It defeats the purpose, ALMOST. I think if you kept practicing on a humble keel, that you'd improve more than trying to say what you think you want to say. Sharpening a blade is one thing, but if you want into battle with a dull blade thinking you're going to win because you know how to use a blade, then you're in for a surprise. Thanks for the read guys. |
Well being simple an just mentioning what has 3 in it was the whole point lol, but thanks for the feed bro much appreciated and Ima work on what u said
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lmao i thought this was about a three foot veritas after reading the title
nvm |
I think Gamble had a LOT of ideas, almost too much, due to the short line lengths.
He really struggled to get it all out in so few lines. There was nothing new here for me, personally, just a lot of regurgitated information put into rhyme form almost. I'm also a lot older than the majority of this board so, there is that. It wasn't a terrible verse, though for a cat who does audio, some of your lines here had entirelyyyyyyyyy too many syllables to be flowed over a beat. This being the worst offender IMHO: Quote:
veritas verse really picked it up, not as heavy on the overkill as Gamino here, but still pretty nice with it. I much prefered his flow. The 'free flow' line was real smooth. I'm not entirely sure the two verses complimented each other, which I'd have liked, there seemed two different paces and tones to them both. Sometimes that difference can present two different sides or opposing views and ideals, but again, I don't think it did here. I can appreciate both seperately for entirely different reasons. Not bad by any stretch though. Keep those pens moving! |
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holy shit would that have been amazing |
Lmao. Christ
@Lars, thanks man. But wasn't written in audio format. What I don't ünderstand is how everyone point out my flaws but don't say anything about my strong points. Sal good. Thanks for the feed. |
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If u eliminate the weak points......then u will be left with only strong points Fix ur wack shit or stfu. |
I do no matter how harsh I still apply it
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Nothing but haters forreal.
Split wouldn't have nominated this HOF if it was whack, smh |
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LOL |
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I didn't read the verses, I just replied from what you said and what I think the general population realizes. Beats aren't just quarter notes. PS: BB is my new best friend -- he even said he would be my friend. |
these verses suck. gamble we suck.
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Any1 else completely skip over the muzzles posts since split puloed his heart out thru his dickhole? Yea. Me too.
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