Notebook vs. Jason Todd - NOTEBOOK WINS
 

Text Battle.

10 lines.
House Rules.
Deadline: 24 hours.

Check!

http://netcees.co/showthread.php?p=3...d=1#post390721
http://netcees.co/showthread.php?p=3...d=1#post390739

Check goodluck

Good luck!

Better THINK AGAIN before he starts any ruckus, like the U.S vs. Kim Jong-un's army, you dumb fuck
You'll panic when I damage. Have this cunt Re-evaluating Motifs...a little bit of Harmony's Fucked Up
Double-Wielded Pistols will end his luck; act like a Female, A Pair'll show him the depths of Heaven, son
Get left disgusting, 'cause I Crop Tops Down to the Belly Button...like Women's Clothes at Forever 21
You being hot is a Stage Act. That's your best bet at seein' Props
Your record's a freakin' flop. So, the only time we rush to buy J's is when the sneaker drops
Fuck the gimmick you're rocking, dude
Fom the City of Gotham? You must be privy to fiction 'cause your identity's COMICAL
On a Dark Night, this Bat, Man....will get rid of this Joker
Split your face like Harvey Dent's from the acid-drip with a blow that could practically make your skull burst...

Explanations:
Line 2: Cunt Re-evaluating Motifs = Country Evaluating Motives | Harmony's Fucked Up = Harm & He's Fucked Up

I'll bury you without a shovel, leave ya in a grave,
put your head so far underground you'd release a mixtape.
Nobody wants you on the mic, so just keep silent,
this notebook profiles a creep, he dreams of a lonely island.
Coming with long bars, shit concepts and vague hits bitch,
years of mental scars, a dick complex and gay wishes.
You're like Weezy if he tried to make it on a rap forum,
you're a bad omen, killing text battles with crap torchin.
I handle this bitch like I was sent by the state to terminate,
words like an axe, ripping through your face as it gurgitates.

Dagel didn't throw a punch or come with any form of a concept. Not a good battle. Notebook needs to shake the rust off and read around for netcees shortbar style and Dagel needs to throw a punch or a concept at notebook. Notebook takes this for having concepts in his bars.

Vote - Notebook

I didn't know if I was reading a battle or an OM drop.

V - Notebook. For ATLEAST trying.

1.

Note..

Better THINK AGAIN before he starts any ruckus, like the U.S vs. Kim Jong-un's army, you dumb fuck
You'll panic when I damage. Have this cunt Re-evaluating Motifs...a little bit of Harmony's Fucked Up
ok opener, liked the flow better than the punch
Double-Wielded Pistols will end his luck; act like a Female, A Pair'll show him the depths of Heaven, son
Get left disgusting, 'cause I Crop Tops Down to the Belly Button...like Women's Clothes at Forever 21
lol feeling this
You being hot is a Stage Act. That's your best bet at seein' Props
Your record's a freakin' flop. So, the only time we rush to buy J's is when the sneaker drops
ok
Fuck the gimmick you're rocking, dude
Fom the City of Gotham? You must be privy to fiction 'cause your identity's COMICAL
decent because the flow was on point
On a Dark Night, this Bat, Man....will get rid of this Joker
Split your face like Harvey Dent's from the acid-drip with a blow that could practically make your skull burst...
ok punch

Note-some shortening of lines would help out alot because u have the technical stuff down

Vs


J todd..

I'll bury you without a shovel, leave ya in a grave,
put your head so far underground you'd release a mixtape.
lol simple and to the point, probably lotb
Nobody wants you on the mic, so just keep silent,
this notebook profiles a creep, he dreams of a lonely island.
nope
Coming with long bars, shit concepts and vague hits bitch,
years of mental scars, a dick complex and gay wishes.
lol funny and nice flow, but closer to a miss than hit
You're like Weezy if he tried to make it on a rap forum,
you're a bad omen, killing text battles with crap torchin.
miss
I handle this bitch like I was sent by the state to terminate,
words like an axe, ripping through your face as it gurgitates.
nope


this was an enjoyable battle to read, props to both
mvgt- notebook

Thanks for the votes, guys. I'm going to tighten up and get back in tune with everything, haha.

I actually thought notebook was a too wordyfor the style we employ here.

Imo dagel took it with the opener.
That was dope to me.

V dagel

jdjd
 

lmao fuck

NOTEBOOK

Better THINK AGAIN before he starts any ruckus, like the U.S vs. Kim Jong-un's army, you dumb fuck
You'll panic when I damage. Have this cunt Re-evaluating Motifs...a little bit of Harmony's Fucked Up
Solid line in every cat. It's more effective at the subtlety good wordplay and the flow.
Double-Wielded Pistols will end his luck; act like a Female, A Pair'll show him the depths of Heaven, son
Get left disgusting, 'cause I Crop Tops Down to the Belly Button...like Women's Clothes at Forever 21
Pretty good line except for the flow being off just a bit and the punch not being as fresh as your opener. Still a pretty good line though.
You being hot is a Stage Act. That's your best bet at seein' Props
Your record's a freakin' flop. So, the only time we rush to buy J's is when the sneaker drops
Didn't like this one. It's too played IMO.
Fuck the gimmick you're rocking, dude
Fom the City of Gotham? You must be privy to fiction 'cause your identity's COMICAL
Not the freshest line but since you tied it into the nameplay that makes it work and helps it to be a pretty good line.
On a Dark Night, this Bat, Man....will get rid of this Joker
Split your face like Harvey Dent's from the acid-drip with a blow that could practically make your skull burst...
Solid punch. Didn't like that u stayed with the batman shit but everything is on point here but the flow is off a bit and so is the end rhyme. It is better than Dagel's though.


Dagel

I'll bury you without a shovel, leave ya in a grave,
put your head so far underground you'd release a mixtape.
Coming simple is cool but when you go simplistic it needs to be much more creative or executed in a different way, so this punch didn't connect to me.
Nobody wants you on the mic, so just keep silent,
this notebook profiles a creep, he dreams of a lonely island.
Nice nameplay and it is an example of a simplistic bar that you add a lil humor and creativity to to make it a dope bar. Good shit!
Coming with long bars, shit concepts and vague hits bitch,
years of mental scars, a dick complex and gay wishes.
The lines here have no sting and it is def not better than note's third bar. It seems very keyed.
You're like Weezy if he tried to make it on a rap forum,
you're a bad omen, killing text battles with crap torchin.
Another line that seems keyed and the punch is not elaborated on enough and it lacks sting.
I handle this bitch like I was sent by the state to terminate,
words like an axe, ripping through your face as it gurgitates.
Would have been good if the punch wasn't played.


Overall, Note took a little more time to write his verse it seems and Todd keyed mostly every line or every line and only had one strong bar IMO. It seems though had Todd took time to write this battle could have turned out different as evidenced by his 2nd Bar.

V/NOTEBOOK