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-   -   Nonsensical Crap (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=9064)

Mael 07-21-2013 06:11 AM

Nonsensical Crap
 
Delete this, thanks. Making some changes.

Split 07-21-2013 08:48 AM

Yesssss... Let the paragraphs flow through you


syncopated. like that shit. the opener was strongest, though "island life taught us life was stupid" and "I'm a guy whose shoes is tied with toothpicks" were two above average lines. didnt change up your schemes enough, paragraphs feel stale if you're not shuffling them around enough


good shit, ill be watching you...

Mael 07-21-2013 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Split Eight (Post 101591)
Yesssss... Let the paragraphs flow through you


syncopated. like that shit. the opener was strongest, though "island life taught us life was stupid" and "I'm a guy whose shoes is tied with toothpicks" were two above average lines. didnt change up your schemes enough, paragraphs feel stale if you're not shuffling them around enough


good shit, ill be watching you...

Aye cheers for the feed, mate.

Yeah, I spent about an hour just fucking with the same rhyme schemes, definitely will switch it up for my next piece. This was more of a freestyle paragraph (like you said), so appreciate it.


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