Netcees - "Art Imitating Life"

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- - "Art Imitating Life" (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=90266)

"Art Imitating Life"

There’s an element of realness to every picture I paint
its just cleverly concealed; I keep my distance this way.
By switching the names and making events
a little bit vague I maintain the pretence.
My way of addressing the thoughts on my mind
is to make a confession through the stories I write.
These forums online help with easing the burden
as the audience likes what they read in my verses.
But what they see on the surface is only a fraction
a preened and cut version I’ve chosen to hand them.
All that’s told and imagined, each juncture explored,
has a moment that happened at the crux of them all.
I’ll subtly draw from the people I know
while looking to forge an appearance or role.
Heroes and rogues, it depends on the day,
and could be on how closely our friendship is based.
My many creations are staples of this
regularly taken and tailored to fit.
Shaped and then scripted in cautionary tales
to paint you a picture as boredom prevails.
I draw from them daily, caricaturing my friends,
as all of their failings have brought me success.
I don’t normally fret over what’s said in my writing
or call into question the method behind it.
Yet there have been times when an incident’s happened
that’s echoed the rhyme in a similar fashion.
My instant reaction was one of surprise
Did I imagine it? Was it a sign?
Was it possible I could predict what they do?
There’s no logic behind it, but it was the truth.
Everything I would choose as a story unfolded
ringing as true in all its components.
I thought about posting fictional topicals next
but the audience voting were not as impressed.
I lost in the end as, sick with anger, I watched
and it’s not an option again – I’ll win no matter the cost.
By killing characters off and thinking of ways they die
until my family’s gone and I miss my creative side.
They’re victims I've plagiarized, every figure that’s played a part,
but was it art imitating life, or life imitating art?

I liked this as a creative process verse - I wasn't really hooked by the closer, which appears to be pretty important in terms of how you structured it... I was more grabbed by the shared experience of writing, posting, voting, etc. Your flow is exceptionally refined and one of the things that makes you elite. The rhymes here, like other verses I've read from you, feel like a tornado turning over on itself again and again... tangling you up along the way. My one issue was the use of larger words in the middle that really jerked up the flow:

Quote:

dMy many creations are staples of this
regularly taken and tailored to fit.
Shaped and then scripted in cautionary tales
to paint you a picture as boredom prevails.
I draw from them daily, caricaturing my friends,
as all of their failings have brought me success.

'regularly', 'cautionary', and 'caricaturing' all detract from the larger piece because they throw the flow off.

That's my one piece of criticism. Overall, very dope.

Good piece Lars.

Stop with the fucking braggadocio shit though, you put more focus on that than your actual pieces and that's worrisome

end of this was straight realness

By killing characters off and thinking of ways they die
until my family’s gone and I miss my creative side.
^whoa

thought thiz started a lil' slow but as the message you were gettin' across kicked in, the points became more clear for me...and the wording an schemes were top notch...no doubt

solid ish my dude

HoLLa

really really really nice man. been a while bro, sup???? this made me want to calm down and write more polished again. i been WAY to caught up in keystyling and paragraph style and bb da bb influence. the bb influenza. in a way i miss being more straight and arrow. but in another way i don't. i think this reminded me that i could still do it. i think i'll do both. i need to write to a beat again. this was a seriously awesome piece. GJ my g. smooth as you ever was

I wrote 80 bars solid the past week.

I'm just getting my mojo back.

Madd props to you all for checking me out!

Quote:

Originally Posted by sraL (Post 386890)

There’s an element of realness to every picture I paint
its just cleverly concealed; I keep my distance this way.
By switching the names and making events
a little bit vague I maintain the pretence.
^^^this was a great way to start the verse

My way of addressing the thoughts on my mind
is to make a confession through the stories I write.
These forums online help with easing the burden
as the audience likes what they read in my verses.
^^^Felt and true.

But what they see on the surface is only a fraction
a preened and cut version I’ve chosen to hand them.
All that’s told and imagined, each juncture explored,
has a moment that happened at the crux of them all.
I’ll subtly draw from the people I know
while looking to forge an appearance or role.
Heroes and rogues, it depends on the day,
and could be on how closely our friendship is based.
My many creations are staples of this
regularly taken and tailored to fit.
^^^fantastic, intimate portrait of ur self in this segment

Shaped and then scripted in cautionary tales
to paint you a picture as boredom prevails.
I draw from them daily, caricaturing my friends,
as all of their failings have brought me success.
I don’t normally fret over what’s said in my writing
or call into question the method behind it.
Yet there have been times when an incident’s happened
that’s echoed the rhyme in a similar fashion.
^^^jesus christ baron how long is this verse lmao anyways I thought this segment did a fine job of illustrating ur attitude to how you write and where u draw ur inspiration

My instant reaction was one of surprise
Did I imagine it? Was it a sign?
Was it possible I could predict what they do?
There’s no logic behind it, but it was the truth.
Everything I would choose as a story unfolded
ringing as true in all its components.
I thought about posting fictional topicals next
but the audience voting were not as impressed.
I lost in the end as, sick with anger, I watched
and it’s not an option again – I’ll win no matter the cost.
By killing characters off and thinking of ways they die
until my family’s gone and I miss my creative side.
They’re victims I've plagiarized, every figure that’s played a part,
but was it art imitating life, or life imitating art?
^^^wooow yesterday evening I spent ab half an hour toying with an art imitating life concept for my 1-2 battle with Destroyer but ultimately decided to go in a different direction bc I didn't want to be overly philosophical and tune the voters out..now after reading this I can see that any art imitating life concept would be best used by topical writers like u that can make a deeply profound verse out of it

so ya terrific stuff

v-Baron

roflz I just realized that art imitating life is the actual title of this thread