GRAVE
 

999


i wrote a dissertation and i labeled it death
coffee smoke and alcohol to make it correct
its almost like an algorithm, maybe it's less
more like tendencies and habits that will lay me to rest
known to be repetitive like gospel or song
peeling back the skin to let a concept evolve
i killed the bottle and laughed. i felt resurgence, resolve
now walk away. it's not your murder to solve. dirt in my palm
toss it in your casket like a personal offering
pencil to the paper once the curtains are drawn
many tagalong and bottomfeed like urchins or moss
follow my distortion like it's sermon or psalm
it's foolish now to recreate what's destined to change
see: weathervanes and everyday affectionate gazes
set in your ways. i hate you but i want you to stay
i want you to stop me before i lock me away
sobbing while i polish my cage. it's not my gospel to praise
it's not constant malaise. it's like a wash in the rain
as toxic as it is we idolize it the same
follow me, the real odyssey, a walk to your grave


DEADMAN

MAN UR COOL

Enjoyed. Raw emotion and good use of loose flow. This personal verses always irk me going on, but if they are done right with solid writing then I forget the hate I have for them and recognize it as just a verse. Good shit. Short and sweet.

Give Deconstructing Yahweh feed pls

i wrote a dissertation and i labeled it death
coffee smoke and alcohol to make it correct
its almost like an algorithm, maybe it's less
more like tendencies and habits that will lay me to rest

Fire

known to be repetitive like gospel or song
peeling back the skin to let a concept evolve
i killed the bottle and laughed. i felt resurgence, resolve
now walk away. it's not your murder to solve. dirt in my palm

Lol too sick man

toss it in your casket like a personal offering
pencil to the paper once the curtains are drawn
many tagalong and bottomfeed like urchins or moss
follow my distortion like it's sermon or psalm

Lol illllll

it's foolish now to recreate what's destined to change
see: weathervanes and everyday affectionate gazes
set in your ways. i hate you but i want you to stay
i want you to stop me before i lock me away
sobbing while i polish my cage. it's not my gospel to praise
it's not constant malaise. it's like a wash in the rain
as toxic as it is we idolize it the same
follow me, the real odyssey, a walk to your grave


This was rdicuus black... never seems to disappoint

dope bro. feelings and coffee, lmao.

so smooth and easy to read. that is a given. i would LOVE to see u intensify your rhyme schemes man. i know you write to make a point and its all about the content but it would be cool to see you expand ur syllables a little cause i bet it would be dope AF.
u keep on churning out solid gold records! never stop!

@El Pancake

lol this was a trench coat in the fog 'THIS IS WHO I AM!' type of drop. It served its purpose and the wording was on point.

see: weathervanes and everyday affectionate gazes
^best part.

love

god shit

props; very smooth. authentic.

pencil to the paper once the curtains are drawn
many tagalong and bottomfeed like urchins or moss

i like that couplet due to it's imperfect nature, but when said phonetically it can be molded into exactness. if you know what i mean.

follow my distortion like it's sermon or psalm
it's foolish now to recreate what's destined to change

i might just be a "nerd for verses", the crafting, but i kind of "read into" that a bit, seeing a double meaning which points out the changing of the end rhyme. i doubt that was your intent, but either way i thought it was cool.

The Flow was like cool n shit, I want to see more of your writing tbh.