Write Night II: [The Finals] NYCSPITZ vs Darth Yoda [NYCSPITZ WINS]
 

@NYCSPITZ
@Darth Yoda

Hi. I don't exist right now, but if you leave your name & address on paper
My bones'll manifest as some form of corporeal reality later.
Caught in the whirlwind. Injection. This Nurofen isn't closure.
Out the start it's the Pearl Gates. Carrying worlds' weight on my shoulder
Unfurling the swirl grid. Cumbersome. I've been up-and-up. Sucks
The Grim Reapers dick squeeze. I'm his Number one crush.
Take it to a neurological setting. Post-Apoco. You couldn't conjure or guess these
It's a impossible. Jet streams. No plausible ending, like Osama in Red Sea.
Feels like A wallop of confetti, swallows your head clean.
Comparable. Each and every one of these follicles sweating
And all you want is your current state atoned. Undermined delivered.
Blurred, your time is hindered. When you're crushed. Innately fold
The perfect time for shivers. Hey I heard your body escaped it's soul
Mercy. I've tried to figure, why I'm hurt. Disgraced out cold.
Cause your silver lining serpent, Isn't worth it's weight in gold


sorry for taking long and not meeting the 20 lines I got sidetracked with a few things. Hope this is enough!

As twilight beckons, her life rests in God's muscular arms
Luna rises and graces us with her crepuscular charm
Love's fleeting. It leaves us in such a volatile stasis
Goliath smiles, dancing with Dave on a nominal basis
She loves him...
...though he doesn't believe in matrimony or conjugal graces
she tends to spin through space/time in these proximal places
He's obnoxious, a sadist. Leaves improbable traces
and she's one of these last, lonely, unsolvable cases
as God looks at infinity through a monocled face shift
fury throbs though her heart's impossibly patient
Fallin' from Clint Eastwood's roof to a constable's basement
The murmur of all her life simmering...volubly sacred
as novelty morphs what once was impossibly ancient
she turns cold and contemplates the chronicles of Satan
but revolves back to warmth. She's methodically patient.
Though in this world he's a phantom, her spirit beckons this life
...cuz even Mother Earth stares into the heavens at night

Very nice NYC!

V/ NYCSPITZ filing crazy and bananas on the verse

Yoda you had a nice fucking thing flowing homie and it was picking up steam but I feel the shortened I think 4 lines really just made ya story end abruptly ... Could have finished with more flair both dope as fuck tho hard to choose tbh.... But I got NYC

both were dope as fuck. idc if darth didn't have 20 he had enough content within to make this a fair battle. either way, i have NYC edging it. both were nice tho. NYC's last line was just... such a sick way to end it as-well.

v/ nyc

ooh wow


close.will explain if needs be

I had NYC

Dope battle, two really good verses, NYC was just better though.

His seemed like a finished product, a complete verse. Rittled with multies with same 'end rhyme' most of the verse. Great story and although I didn't love the finals bars flow. Loved the concept.

Good shit. This was fun

Vote nyc

Interesting approach from both

Very fun, hope we can do it again someday. I will be better prepared. Good story NYC. Nice word usage!

good showing.

darth came in nice, you have a dark sense about you which i enjoy. clearly noticed this here
The Grim Reapers dick squeeze. I'm his Number one crush.
thought that line was cool. seemed a little random at times tho

nyc, clean verse. great storytelling here as oppose to what you did in rnd 1-2. had a dope love story thing going on and quite the smooth read to it.

i got nyc here with a slightly fresher verse and cleaner concept.
good battle.

props to both for making the finals

nyc - this verse was a much better effort from your round two victory...in terms of solidifying all your themes and imagery devices into one cohesive delivery...which made this more palatable to the reader in terms of readability and understanding...keys to engagement...

on the ohter hand Darth came stark with some dark pauses of inner thought, the themes where too lose and airy, leaving the motive and resolution in question...I really liked his opening line

Hi. I don't exist right now, but if you leave your name & address on paper
My bones'll manifest as some form of corporeal reality later.

but as the lines progressed he abandoned that with lose and ambiguous tie ins to it....need to focus ideas and exercise written discipline and spare the loathing...it will benifit both you and the reader...though not a diss...like the texture...

v. nyc

@Meth please award @NYCSPITZ HIS ACCOMP.

Thanks to both participants great showing

NYCSPITZ wins

congrats