Dipping my microships in gasoline sauce
 

Ephemeral. A testament to your consecutive soft lies
Whispered in the crevices that I could barely hard write
You withered in the autumn weather, whispering an awesome fiddle
Through the instruments you hardly whittled, I was playing third string.
Warming the bench, while you were all warped in your sense.
Bottled your demons, while you ran wild, vial as was tense
Vile. It’s intense. I mean you were so lovely and dangerous
Like being afloat the oceans, and have a palace built on a balanced glacier.
Can you smell the explosive nature?
If I had erasers, I’d erase anamnesis to shattered pieces, from that laughs received.
It’s more than a avid feature. We had a future. We were supposed to…
I’d time travel back to Garden Eden, and I swear to Jesus
I’d grab eve and drop adam bombs, to our ever past and secret.
Cause the snakes in the grass, is always meaner on the other side, it’s for real
The rotten apple doesn’t fall from the tree. But the tree was built on a hill
And that apple fell to the sea, and I just hope that apple was grown; into a beast
And transfixed to my throat, cause my adams apple chokes on it’s spit, when I think on every single thing we had to conceive, we traveled the seas
not literally though….
You just had to be weak. Metronome castle. Spoke a colorful and balanced laser
You were the first flower to blossom brush strokes in your caricature,
To me you were second nature. Sitting bottoms at large oaks
Bongo drums, sparking your dark flavor.
A stranded home. Alone, there goes the vagabond. I’ve had enough
If I see you, it’s a waiver on sight. Get away, it’s alright
Veteran’s war crime. Not severing all ties, like tailors on strike

Interesting... i don't really know how to feed this. was kindof a poetic style, not my cup a tea. hard for me to critique this or give props on... the rhyming was average but that wasn't what this was about. u had some interesting wordplays or puns on adam and eve and apples i guess.. idunno. it just left me feeling a little empty, like i don't really know what to think of it. its something im not used to style wize.

Do yourself a favor and read all of Vulgar's drops in this section. He has like 4 or 5 in the last 2 weeks . I think you will like all of them man.

sorry for the wack feed, check my piece in here right now and tell me what u think

99% amazing. The tailors on strike simile was off-putting compared to the tone and rest of the language of the piece. Explosive nature I didn't like for some reason, jarred me while reading it. Other than that the best piece I've read on this iteration of NC. I think I've said that about another piece before but that piece sucks. The adams apple theme in the middle was excellent, started off okay then really went somewhere with the adams apple line and imagery. Poignantly worded, full of regret. Something substantial amid the everyday drops around here.

Thank you. That was rude, because I was the other piece. But you didn't know that. Also, thanks copypat. I will give it a loooooook.

The rotten apple doesn’t fall from the tree. But the tree was built on a hill
And that apple fell to the sea, and I just hope that apple was grown; into a beast
And transfixed to my throat, cause my adams apple chokes on it’s spit, when I think on every single thing we had to conceive, we traveled the seas
not literally though….
You just had to be weak. Metronome castle. Spoke a colorful and balanced laser
You were the first flower to blossom brush strokes in your caricature,
To me you were second nature. Sitting bottoms at large oaks
Bongo drums, sparking your dark flavor.
A stranded home. Alone, there goes the vagabond. I’ve had enough
If I see you, it’s a waiver on sight. Get away, it’s alright
Veteran’s war crime. Not severing all ties, like tailors on strike

ethereal

enjoyed the rhyming/ juxtaposition very much

did not like adam bombs very much

honestly youve just made a tidal wave crash the shores of NC my man... or like a tsunami.... you hve got such a poetic stride it compliments the wording and content you put together in this piece to come off with ease with the rhymescheme so the flow isnt stagnant my friend. props on this i really cant say much else other than honestly this being a nice read.. man props

Dope