my goldfish murdered my best friend last night
 

We was all drinking drunk as fuck an my dude Tommy passed out on the floor next to the aquarium. My goldfish, out of jealousy and hatred jumped out of the aquarium bouncing once on his chest an into his mouth choking him to death in his alcohol induced sleep. All I can see when I close my eyes is the mangle fish carcus the emts pulled out of his throat.
RIP Miami you was fish from another bish

I'm just playing the part bro

Camel Toes aren't attractive 69% of the time

camel toes are huge bishes are called mooseknuckles

I have a blue pitt and named him kitty

my blue pit was named remy

unrofls