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-   Open Mic Section (http://netcees.org/forumdisplay.php?f=6)
-   -   behind the screen (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=8523)

dead man 07-08-2013 05:48 PM

behind the screen
 
Where there's copper and tar, carbon copy bizarre
photo ops, diabolical charm. gothic arkham resolve
somewhere gotham recalls was once a gleaming oasis
housing creative reform upon a seasonal basis
read your relations, meetings with strangers, policeman or rapist
everybody's terrified, deceitful and anxious
xanax for instability and weed for the stasis
biotic arrangement power cord to reach entertainment
see what the date is. never again will this moment occur
but still i waste it. cause motion is pure, only a blur
in a grand scheme it's miniscule. microscopes to observe
an individual plant seeds to grow and mature
psychomotor neural toxins, dissociative nerves
calmed by chiving onwards towards compulsive reserve
late nights, brown liquor, roaches to burn
blacketh robed camel joe inside promotional urns
i know what you came for and i know you're unsure
i'm here to take that pain away, ive hoped for a cure
and been met with disease. temperature freeze. textural dreams
intellectual retard writing text you believe
i've seen past lives reincarnate as a penciled reprieve
and futures cut short because they're measured in ki's
lost love and sacrificed a treasure for greed
to spend a single night inside of heaven's physique
followers are swallowers, its better to lead
everybody off that cliff into a sedative sea
the seconds that we spend behind electrical screens
are better spent dead until you're ready to breathe
inhale, let it soak a minute, wet as can be
feel the rush of white lightning as it settles beneath
legend has it, rumors have a way of spreading their seed
playing telephone is socialized reception we teach
on metronome tectonic ticks continuously
genie lamps illuminate a wish to be free
serendipity seethes. snakeskin soothsayer, simple & clean
shipwrecked as a mechanized defensive retreat
system delete, backspace acrobatic, mission complete
repetition is key, go check your history please
i've only tried to make a dent anonymously
but it all falls down like autumn leaves. art is a breeze
i've only tried to warn of what i've already seen
but it all falls down like autumn leaves..










DEADMAN

dead man 07-08-2013 05:50 PM

should have put DEADMAN in capital letters in thread title so everyone notices me

Geno 07-08-2013 06:20 PM

but stilli wasteit. causemotion is pure, only a blur in a grand scheme it's miniscule. microscopes to observe an individualplantseedsto grow and mature psychomotor neural toxins, dissociative nerves calmed by chiving onwardstowardscompulsivereserve latenights,brown liquor, roaches to burn blacketh robed camel joe inside promotional urns


Lmao @ what you just just said though.

The shit I just qouted was nuts.. those fem lines surrounding microscopes to observe struck me as pure geniuos.

Not to take awy from any other line of this verse.. but those really grabbed me

Sick shit DEADMAN

Objective 07-09-2013 01:44 AM

Holy fucking shit. This is hands down my favourite piece from you. SO many quotables. Shit was straight up inspiring to read. The concepts and easy but yet complex descriptions of certain situations/issues/whatever was fucking bonkers. By saying that I mean shit like this;

''shipwrecked as a mechanized defensive retreat
system delete, backspace acrobatic, mission complete
repetition is key, go check your history please''

There was a time where I questioned how good you actually were, but this piece removes all doubt. I loved it from start to end and I'll probably go back and read this sometime I need inspiration or some shit like that. Keep dropping. Looking forward to read what you and topicaldood5 comes up with in the AOWL finals. This shit was BANANAS.

CopyPat 07-09-2013 03:21 AM

Dope. This is some Grade A top shelf rhyming. Ur pieces always come off a little dreary to me but the way that you put ur verses together with smoothness, complexity, intellectualism and real content is always impressive. Very finished feel to everything u drop. There's never a missing word or even syllable. Shit rolls of the tongue easily yet it's not written simply. You always been one of the best for that. Add this one to the list. Very well done. Like I say i wish you would come with something a little more positive every once in a while, or would be sick to see you just flow as crazy as you can on some dullboy type shit. Hahah stay up man, good to see u posting, hit me back with some feeds if u can

Wise Wiggles 07-09-2013 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dead man (Post 91451)
should have put DEADMAN in capital letters in thread title so everyone notices me

actually that's corny as fuck imo.

but this was dope as fuck and one of your better drops as of late.

intellectual retard writing text you believe
i've seen past lives reincarnate as a penciled reprieve
and futures cut short because they're measured in ki's
lost love and sacrificed a treasure for greed
to spend a single night inside of heaven's physique
followers are swallowers, its better to lead
everybody off that cliff into a sedative sea

^favorite part.

always smooth!

dead man 07-09-2013 11:16 AM

bitch dont make me tell you again.

also whos AR @Whys Ways ?

thanks everybody, ill be checkin for yall work..

Wise Wiggles 07-09-2013 01:13 PM

Aefuckinsop Rock, Mic bizarro..

dead man 07-10-2013 10:38 AM

TETRA

checked it out. cool song

Darth Yoda 07-11-2013 01:35 AM

:)! Sleeping zombie you are.

oats 07-11-2013 04:28 AM

and been met with disease. temperature freeze. textural dreams
intellectual retard writing text you believe
i've seen past lives reincarnate as a penciled reprieve
and futures cut short because they're measured in ki's
lost love and sacrificed a treasure for greed
to spend a single night inside of heaven's physique
followers are swallowers, its better to lead
everybody off that cliff into a sedative sea
the seconds that we spend behind electrical screens
are better spent dead until you're ready to breathe

fuck off. this was too dope. nobody else conveys human psychology as deftly or as effortlessly into real talk. your descriptions within lines like "backspace acrobatic" are just so vivid and well-conceived. I really enjoyed this, will be reading it many times over again.

Geno 07-11-2013 08:10 PM

ar killed that qoute tho tbh

Vulgar 07-11-2013 08:42 PM

Moar of a concerto effort from you. Showing us your weapons, but also showing us the sensitivity of 3D printing censor. Sensory language as well. Peppering the page with something containing peppermint, and the customary blitzkrieg of multi syllabic pointers. The 12 handed clock indicates a rise in interrelated topics: pharmaceuticals, perception, government, identity. Interesting stuff.

somewhere gotham recalls was once a gleaming oasis
housing creative reform upon a seasonal basis
^There were levels to this which I liked thinking about. Not the movie version of Gotham but the comic book one makes this a more tender concept. There could also be subtle wordplay for invasive vegetation in Gotham, man vs. nature. Or man vs. human nature.

lost love and sacrificed a treasure for greed
to spend a single night inside of heaven's physique
followers are swallowers, its better to lead
everybody off that cliff into a sedative sea
^Second line was crisp. Second bar was ether. I paused while reading to raise my eyebrows and so forth.

All in all, you are meticulous when it comes to treating the gene pool of your central idea. One might picture you focused on an examination table, splicing concepts that used to be in limbo and creating associative uses for each. I'd use the word "cerebral" but I'd rather use Cerebro. Shout outs to Magneto for sabotaging it.

but it all falls down like autumn leaves. art is a breeze
i've only tried to warn of what i've already seen
but it all falls down like autumn leaves..
^The ending was a bit unsteady, but not a let down.

Nice write, Black.

Keep doing you

NYCSPITZ 07-12-2013 01:31 PM

This is clearly the fruit of various synaptic impulses merging into electomagnetic streams coursing through your nervous system. These highly confidential decoded messages are from the annunaki who currently reside in the mothership just outside of the M-5 nebula. Black is the chosen specimen due to his drug addicted neuroses which he sublimates quite often into the distilled wisdom of 17 judeo-christan apostles dripping with the city swag of gutter early origin hip hop flexing in grungy bronx basements during the genre's genesis. As an incarnation of a tight denim jean wearing 6'7 black behemoth, black understandably has the street smarts, when mixed with the gift bequeathed by annunaki death gods, to kick knowledge in a heretofore unprecedented manner. The sedative sea is filled with a high concentration of oxycontin, please don't drink while coasting soldier...

Coup 07-13-2013 04:38 AM

your words are bold and contagious dude...not crystal clear on what you are trying to say to us, and I don't care. In some parts I was just a fly on the wall. I enjoyed how quickly I got through this long piece, which is a testament to your line engagements....work on clarity and you are untouchable.

dead man 07-13-2013 09:16 AM

clarity.....

respect to everyone who dropped a comment

dead man 07-15-2013 12:12 PM

finale premortem


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