EL Pancake: the no show saga (please feed)
 

just looking for input on the verse is all, thanks.



ima be livid if my written's don't get the benefits of checking a veteran
respect my wits cuz you're a total loss after i finish this breakfast dish
the lines i'm peddling is for letting the devil sniff, press for ya reverend
ya whole rep is irrelevant, my references heaven sent by the flow gods
time to exit the premises or get blessings from benedict and pope john
who expected the best to get wrecked this quick? u should've drove off
my feathered pens come wit heckler clips, a connection kit from voltron
warlock, my weapons is deading shit like the hammer that thor rocked
i just came back from a fly by in the jetsons ship, i get too high for yall
mayweather hits to ya chest til my storm stops, ull die enlightened dog
u write, im raw, performing an exorcist on a wiseguy, enticing thoughts
why lie?..ima level 10 pilot on cloud 9, with ground strikes in a titanfall
dont try to play ya fighting song til u ride a wave from poseidons cough
ya rhyming plain an slightly washed, ill swipe ya pride away w/lion claws
y not decline my wage, i'll fire boss, my fly was made from designer cloth
sniper strays took miles of ya life away, my sight display?...the eye of ra
a riot cop couldn't help you fight the charge of inviting my licensed scars
everything i might would draw is higher art, lies u start have a childish plot
it makes sense that you try to rob cuz a price to pay is wat the iron cost
what ive really been trying to say is, im the greatest, tony the tiger soft

heaven sent by the flow gods
time to exit the premises or get blessings from benedict and pope john
who expected the best to get wrecked this quick? u should've drove off
my feathered pens come wit heckler clips, a connection kit from voltron
warlock, my weapons is deading shit like the hammer that thor rocked,
This piece gave me chills nice drop but, i just couldn't connect or relate,

This was pretty dope man. Nice little brag piece and I think you killed this.
You had some really hard hitting punchlines in this verse that impacted hard,
Flow was on point the whole way through, your word choice and rhyme schemes
Spiced up the flow even more and it flowed very smoothly, good work.
You came hard with punches as well as rhymes and flow and that really made for
A good piece.
Keep up the good work and stay blessed man.
Peace.

my feathered pens come wit heckler clips, a connection kit from voltron

Dopest line to me....some.nice double rhyme schemes...good flow ....few parts were a lil more simple.then other parts...overall I liked it tho

Nice drop