Netcees

Netcees (http://netcees.org/index.php)
-   Open Mic Section (http://netcees.org/forumdisplay.php?f=6)
-   -   IDK (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=81654)

Kiki 07-07-2014 03:46 AM

IDK
 
Was a free bird caught up in a web of lies
Hearts break apart never equally divide
Said from the start no more damaging my pride
Based on my past can't let another nigga slide
My unfortunate luck attracts torturous love
white lies transform into black contorted bluffs
Distorted lust broke down the forted trust
I think I've had enough I think it's addin up
All the hurt and pain aside mentally I don't have the time
And even tho I love the way you grind can't bring myself to cross that line
You know the old saying all men lie
Can't fall in too deep ya guaranteed to drown
Stick ya toe in guaranteed your pulled down
Play the love game guaranteed ya done foul
Wow let me slow down with the dramatics
I mean I know what love is and I think that it's tragic
But still... Doesn't mean I feel nothing for you
Doesn't mean what your sayin is true
How can you keep us together if I'm missin a screw?
How can i trust you'll fix me if I'm outta the glue...
cuz i don't have a clue...

the more i let you in, the more i might break
the more you give in, the more i can't take...
my unfortunate luck attracts torturous love
So.. We can fuck but not make love

Kin 07-07-2014 11:47 AM

lil' Hook at the end is catchy I can see that on a r&b type track thought this stared dope...gotta lil' "cliche" near the end with some typical lines you would expect in a piece like this....

examples...
But still... Doesn't mean I feel nothing for you
Doesn't mean what your sayin is true
How can you keep us together if I'm missin a screw?
How can i trust you'll fix me if I'm outta the glue...

thought if you strayed away from stuff like this it woulda been a lil' hotter..
cuz at the beginnin' u had shit like this....

My unfortunate luck attracts torturous love
white lies transform into black contorted bluffs

^^Thats crazy... just kinda lost its consistency...woulda liked to see it all on that level of writing..

But not takin' anything away... flowed smooth as hell

HoLLa


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:19 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2025 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.