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It Was A Dream...
Twisted deep into a spiral, the image was vital
needed...some say it was a gift, given from the bible it made living and survival come with restrictions to hide you because no one wants to see whats hidden inside you so we abide to the rules, become bed ridden and trifle imagine how it could be if you were lifted to my view... a sinner's revival, dancing in the candle lit abyss where the last hope to the world is handled with a kiss see what you like, when you can, the rest is a dream or a lie the truth if you see it, the rest you could seemlessly despise we could evenly divide the choices, set a goal, keep it in sight wake up your paranoia to the point you believe with your eyes where...was I? creeping aside, watching the weak and the blind who fought every moment, here's a shot...keep it in mind oh how pitiful...a sinner's revival...in the candle lit abyss the last light...hope...blown out and handled with a kiss |
reminds me of Judas Iscariot and the betrayal of Messiah....a dark world in the mind and this represents a sickness so vile, so unseen that we must keep diligent to be clean.
good jabbing drop. Not the doppest IMO, and here is why. These inner sickness type verses, the ones like this that are full of demonic energy come cheaply because why ? The heart is desperately wicked and this type of stuff is aided by unclean spirit. Only one comment so far ? tough crowd here. |
cool shit man. i would safely say i didn't REALLY get what u were trying to say here.. i mean i get the gist of it but i feel like lots a people write shit kinda like this if u know what i mean??? just didn't really hold my attention. aside from that the scheming was quite good.. the flow was really smooth, some vocab/complexity so no complaints there. just didn't seem like you but alot into this concept wise. regardless i like reading ur shit cause it flows haha, stay up dude. would like to see you on a brag piece haha
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it made living and survivalcomewith restrictionsto hideyou because no one wants to see whats hidden inside you
Dope |
I totally agree
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Quote:
and if you get time can you peep my piece with serious g'lookin fam |
the repitition is only to close on...and "hope" is the flame that's blown out
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idk, I though that phrase 'handled with a kiss' and the fact you repeated it was gay as fuck. The first time you mentioned it the tone of your piece seemed to switch some, too. There were some sparse moments where you spun enough internal rhythm to say... aight. Some phrasings like 'seemlessly despise' were...
...I mean, idk. Weren't really feeling it on the whole. You need more of a reason to write. |
I'm not surprised that you're like to write about that DARK shit.
I see that you liked watching the movie Old Boy. For some odd reason this piece gave that sort of evil feel. That movie depressed the shit out of me. You're flow is decent but there is no harm in having a few multi syllabic rhymes Other than that, the content was dope, it was well written and very graphic. see what you like, when you can, the rest is a dream or a lie < -- Dope.. Enuff said |
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