deadman -- set you free
 

abomination. tonsil tasting. coffee beans, pixie sticks
grammar nazi, apple motley. tommy lee and nikki sixx
digital antichrist, the analogue poltergeist
quoted cause he wrote it in a notebook, twice
prayer, love, independence. coke, sprite, ocean beds and open mic
hammer dance in polka dots. polka music, poker night
so precise, throw your dice. buy another overpriced
orgasm on the rocks. lemon slice. you're cold as ice
don't be nice, just sacrifice. hard smile like paper sand
fold your hand. find a hobby, origami, wave a flag
take a stance. defend it with your life, make a statement
label yourself by occupation and die
i've been waiting to try. persian tiger dose the mainline
walked cliffside if only to commit suicide
that phrase, how it tastes. ink and acid and twine
vines and acupuncture. veins, vinyls, tape. CD drives
made us alive. frankenstein was rhythm and rhyme
winter and pine, lines like christmastime. i'll fix you goodbye
and pulse the bassline like a junky for speed
it was time, let it pass. reveal a functional being
so if you end up meaning nothing to me
i'll break your chains, blackbird. set you free
if you take a dive, make it mine. let me believe
you were born and one day forgot to breathe





if only,

yours

Like what u did here.. although... it felt a little rushed to me mecjanically

This part here seemed awkward.. was lyrixally pretty nice just as well as the rest of the piece was. Just read odd imo.. going for a new style?

If you read this at a relentless pace it flows well..
Least how I read it. This was cool from a rhyme scheme perspective.
A bit too vague to be judged too much but I can dig it or
what it is.

digital antichrist, the analogue poltergeist
quoted cause he wrote it in a notebook, twice

LOL that's dope im digging the spitfire approach also

prayer, love, independence. coke, sprite, ocean beds and open mic
hammer dance in polka dots. polka music, poker night
so precise, throw your dice. buy another overpriced
orgasm on the rocks. lemon slice. you're cold as ice
don't be nice, just sacrifice. hard smile like paper sand
fold your hand. find a hobby, origami, wave a flag
take a stance. defend it with your life, make a statement
^^Crisp flow.

Every time I read your writing I always find uses of alliteration so I assume by now that is not an accident. That may be why your writing is so revered here because you practice every element of writing and implement them into your works. But I don't think you do that. I think you just have a crazy brain that does it for you. Fuck now I'm rambling again. Well, this was good. Especially the section that I quoted but obviously I have seen better from you. I'll be looking forward to your next piece. Adios.

this read a bit off to me. i wonder what would happen if instead of moving so quickly through transitory concepts you just sat and dripfed one enough experience until it evolved. i think even if you did the allusion to the other would be heavy. this was a cool exercise, i guess.

digital antichrist, the analogue poltergeist
quoted cause he wrote it in a notebook, twice
prayer, love, independence. coke, sprite, ocean beds and open mic
hammer dance in polka dots. polka music, poker night
so precise, throw your dice. buy another overpriced
orgasm on the rocks. lemon slice. you're cold as ice

^ i liked this. particularly the last two.

Thank you guys..

nice

the constant dropping of shortened rhymes was repetitive - in a good way! dope drop

what books do you read?

sup d, another smoothly painted picture. u know i love ur stuff, i found this one got weaker as it went though, but only because the start was so strong.

abomination. tonsil tasting. coffee beans, pixie sticks
grammar nazi, apple motley. tommy lee and nikki sixx
digital antichrist, the analogue poltergeist
quoted cause he wrote it in a notebook, twice
prayer, love, independence. coke, sprite, ocean beds and open mic
hammer dance in polka dots. polka music, poker night
so precise, throw your dice. buy another overpriced
orgasm on the rocks. lemon slice. you're cold as ice
don't be nice, just sacrifice. hard smile like paper sand
fold your hand. find a hobby, origami, wave a flag

Like that was retarded. pretty hard to follow that up with another half as good


the style was new and different for you.. more on a technical level. but the feel of the piece was all the same as most of your work. the shorter rhymes and puns were cool though. and not cheesy, really well done. overall another really good drop. check out my latest, i did a topical... about fat chicks lol