Head Games
 

http://ginabishop.files.wordpress.co...lo-zerbato.jpg



Thriving through the gutters of the slums, the sunken hues are poreless
Nothin new, not stuck there, then by luck I drew a human portrait
Something fueled me forward and it clutched me in it's forces
Fetched attention, lent its lessons and then soothed me in accordance
Sensing something of misfortune I compete and start resisting
Since while speaking his inflictions of deciet were marked in vision
Hardly wit, you're breathing so hard, well jeez it's hard to miss it
Harnessed info, got the world, burned it raw and let it bleed
His Earth evolved from desert people, cursed with flaws of destiny
I watched him as his thoughts unfirl, swirled hunches, cleverly
I saw them when they curled up and saw the thoughts he hasnt made
The second that they left his brain I lept into their empty graves
Took extra steps which kept me safe, hes never stayin next to me
No debts been paid, won't set you free, your sent to take the press release
Death decayed, you're stressed and beaten, rescued by the referee
Left at base, you're dead, so with an empty face, accept defeat

I'll be honest I'm not sure what this is about

Last 8 were so dope tho
Impressed

No one knows what it means, but its provocative

this was interesting, i agree with hush, i don't know what the fuck this is about but i still liked it. let me ask you something, you wrote it and then found the picture huh? anyways this was technically perfect and flowed off the tongue like butter. it's really hard to feed a good peace without leaving it at dope, or fire. anyways man thanks for the read. i'll be looking forward to reading your verses in the league. stay up

ty for feedsies

Nice drop Nigma

Dope Nig..
This was pure you. Loved the vocablary and Your descriptive style.
Usually, i found it pretty hard to catch your flow. But this was really smooth..
Some dope shit right thr
Props bro

Love the vocabulary, enjoyed how you put it together. ''Head games'', huh? Definitely mind games tbh, it's thought provoking for sure and I'm kinda left with questions that doesn't add up and I wonder what you were truly going at.

The picture itself is dope as fuck. The first thing that came to my mind when I saw the picture was how thoughts and ideas kinda give birth to a new you and as you keep building on that new ideas come forth before you've even managed to really take it in completely, and sometimes it can feel like an endless loop of ''new you's''. Perhaps this was what you were going at with a third perspective-approach to the character in your story? Idk...

Either way, cool shit. Didn't like this section tho';

Hardly wit, you're breathing so hard, well jeez it's hard to miss it
Harnessed info, got the world, burned it raw and let it bleed
His Earth evolved from desert people, cursed with flaws of destiny
I watched him as his thoughts unfirl, swirled hunches, cleverly
^ Although put together well, I didn't like the rhymescheme, couldn't clearly get the words at the end to connect that well tbh. Cleverly and Destiny kinda works, kinda thinking more about the first couplet in that quote. And there's slight hints of the same issue with some lines towards the end. Might be missing out, or not seeing its connections, but that's what my thoughts are at this moment. Might come back and re-read it, perhaps I'll see it then.

Keep dropping. Peace.

There were some interesting layers to this piece... what worries me about your style is if it would fall apart if rhythm was not a controlling factor. Have you written any short stories or fiction? If so, I know you probably write significantly different than what I can see here.

Overall, cool. keep droppin'

Mostly this ^

It felt like as soon as I got tied up in one thought you veered left. It reminds me of my rush hour driving. It was refreshing and frustrating at the same time that the piece doesn't allow the reader to get comfortable. A few slips in end rhyme, but the content was volumes above average. Props. Drop more and I'll feed if available.

I found this interesting I liked the twists you put in this, definitely original.