Netcees - Jew

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- Open Mic Section (http://netcees.org/forumdisplay.php?f=6)

- - Jew (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=52851)

Poet. Pardon me, open heart disease. Here's to hope, catharsis schemes seamed through over-arching themes,
I couldn't close if I wrote through my most alarming dreams. Things I could only quote if I sold my soul to artistry.
Abstract lyrics paint pictures unintended. Rorschach's spirit. Same physics. Love's pretended.
There's premeditation in this desultory genius. Subtract what doesn't rhyme, plus texts that bore the reader.
Write what you know. Stretch the story's zenith to extra ordinary regions and press the form you're seeking.
Be wordy with your wording. Use irony for laughs, and laugh and those who don't find it in their path.
Balderdash. Stalk women. Skeet. Haunted past. Talk cynically.
Walken bashing enemies with cock, just slapping viciously.
This author raps auspiciously. Always live authentically.
The rawest. Captain victory, passing, lapping anything.
Autographing titties with long dramatic similes.

your wording was off and idk what you were talking about

lmao i pronounce it as "raw-shark" tbh

Je ne sais pas du tout

Quote:

Originally Posted by big baby (Post 274342)

your wording was off and idk what you were talking about

Quote:

Originally Posted by dull boy (Post 241922)

I liked this.

Last line was cute.

Write what you know. Stretch the story's zenith to extra ordinary regions and press the form you're seeking.
^and ha, this was quotable.

@dull boy

One day you'll get reinvigorated enough to take a full trek.

The ending was so cool, Next time add more lines.

Man idk I really enjoyed this to be honest. I think this is getting slept on. The thing that made this piece dope for me was the difference in your writing between how it began and how it ended. That's what intrigued me about it and kept it fresh. Good shit buddy, keep it up.

Quote:

Originally Posted by dull boy (Post 274285)

Poet. Pardon me, open heart disease. Here's to hope, catharsis schemes seamed through over-arching themes,
I couldn't close if I wrote through my most alarming dreams. Things I could only quote if I sold my soul to artistry.
Abstract lyrics paint pictures unintended. Rorschach's spirit. Same physics. Love's pretended.
There's premeditation in this desultory genius. Subtract what doesn't rhyme, plus texts that bore the reader.
Write what you know. Stretch the story's zenith to extra ordinary regions and press the form you're seeking.
Be wordy with your wording. Use irony for laughs, and laugh and those who don't find it in their path.
Balderdash. Stalk women. Skeet. Haunted past. Talk cynically.
Walken bashing enemies with cock, just slapping viciously.
This author raps auspiciously. Always live authentically.
The rawest. Captain victory, passing, lapping anything.
Autographing titties with long dramatic similes.

I actually understood it fairly well. A few of the concepts are ridiculously introspective and you have a pretty awesome grasp on wordplays. But one thing is that I've heard the line in bold somewhere before.

The closing punch was awesome. And slapping viciously made me lol. I like this. But wtf is with 'balderdash, stalk women, skeet' ??

Keep writing.

this was solid g. A little on the short side, no?

Intense flow. Especially the flow towards the beginning. This would sound great recorded.