BEST OF CARLIN
 

yeah this is for the best of carlin

lmao he such a g


Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That’s just common sense!

Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

The dog farted...

this shit still blows my mind

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNtRO3IrGg4

Not to take away from carlin cause he is-was always be amazing.

But if you like him check out "louis c.k. chewed up"

That shit is funny as fuck

Flamethrowers..... because we have them, we have flamethrowers.. An what this says to me is that at some point in time, somebody was like "Gee, I'd sure like to set those people on fire over there. If only there was a way I could throw flame ON them."

Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.

true shit.

co-sign.

If anyone can find the video of Carlin talking about the school system then it should definatly be posted. Idk what Sharp's video is because it won't even let me play it so if that's it then disregard this post lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6xaj2fC1jI

i think bigfoot is blurry. it's not the photographers fault. which is scarier to me. there's a big out of focus monster roaming the mountainside.

I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to too.

Louis CK on O&A is the funniest bits of Louis ever. The way they deal with each other is beyond funny.

This always gets me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qt9WNI8LI9M

Oh and louis ck is the shit.

Bill Burr's hilarious as well. Same vein as C.K. and Carlin.