"Next" - Newest Verse, written tonight.
 

"Next" (The name of the beat the verse was written to); Click below to hear the beat, made by yours truly.

https://soundcloud.com/sacrifice/next

My pain is approaching apex.
Embracing the soul: my brain stretched
through the corridors of space, catching panic.
A forty floor collapse from the mortar, war
in enormous chords, rhythm, chaos and gore.
And lords rule the quarter with rhetoric, a seance
explored to discover the hordes in exodus.
Penmanship: the trump and the sword.
A vengeance myth, but still my sentence lives.
A sentence of life in the meta. A tamed fox
with the grey hare of the "apoc"; face locked in confusion.
In flames, lots have been ruined...
I'm choosing music,
a fluid dynamic existing with true fire,
dancing in loose fibers. Resisting your soothsayers.
Not afraid to embrace a change in the scheme.
'Cause these raging reprieves are danger to me,
but truth ranges from greatness to weakness.
My name is in leagues with pagan elites.
My pages are freedom for the enslaved and the meek.

Aiiight

I dont really appreciate things like this because the artist isn't being very humble and is extroverted at topics they are proud of, I hate braggers. But really, I liked it shows a dark and light aspect of confidence/persistence. But I cant see how it relates to like mentioned before your 'bragging.'

And to be straightforwardly blunt, pagans lack elitism or at least from what I have heard and discussed with witches, hippies, shamans, and earthdwellers(I forget the name)

But overall I felt like your song didn't have a meaning and was just in a direction that was like "me, me, me." Which is what most rapper do and it's tight to a degree. But your not connecting with me on this one man.

I genuinely appreciate the feedback.

I wrote this in a frenzy, and looking back at it now, I can say the following:

I'm personifying the metaphorical connection between my pain and my passion; either in vain attempts at convincing myself that I am "significant," or a description of the struggle through layered imagery; using freedom language and heroism in the final couplet to pay homage to the paradoxical nature of the verse, but with what can be interpreted as a way out in the end.

Otherwise, I do see and understand your points of view.

This was a semi-cool write up, very true to your roots. I recently learned a little about metacognition in my psychology class. Only rudimentary stuff, but the definition reminded me of your work: thinking about thinking. So yeah, wasn't completely digging every line in this; what I quoted above read like a poem. I liked that.

Keep doing you

That's real groovy, it's always nice when an artists shows a viewer what they are really going for in their piece. At first I didn't find much emotion basically just saw angst and rushed thought but after reading I find that it appears more layed out and could mean a lot more than represented or past interpreted; or rather, the emotional vibes that I was receiving wasn't which you wished to send, one could say. I forgot to mention how much I enjoyed it, I always seem to do that; drop feedback and just leave it with a negative or positive judgment. Need to work on that shit....

Already sold..

Straight through the wire, the synthetic appeal suits massively to the modern approach to drowning.. fucken drowning in get struck by the rip tide

so i loved the fact you you pulled through it like broken splinters but with eassssssseee..

floated infact..

def loved it

respect

I'm choosing music,
a fluid dynamic existing with true fire,
dancing in loose fibers.

Thank you

Already sold..

Straight through the wire, the synthetic appeal suits massively to the modern approach to drowning.. fucken drowning in get struck by the rip tide

so i loved the fact you you pulled through it like broken splinters but with eassssssseee..

floated infact..

def loved it

respect

I'm choosing music,
a fluid dynamic existing with true fire,
dancing in loose fibers.

Thank you

man i dunno what an "apoc" is but I thought the rest was dope.

SMART MAN SPITTING SMART RHYMES

And lords rule the quarter with rhetoric, a seance
explored to discover the hordes in exodus.
Penmanship: the trump and the sword.
A vengeance myth, but still my sentence lives.
A sentence of life in the meta. A tamed fox
with the grey hare of the "apoc"; face locked in confusion.
In flames, lots have been ruined...
I'm choosing music,
a fluid dynamic existing with true fire,
dancing in loose fibers. Resisting your soothsayers.

DOPE SHIT MY G

I'm choosing music,
a fluid dynamic existing with true fire,
dancing in loose fibers.

as just about everyone else quoted this portion stood out the most to me. i really appreciate real lyricists talking about real shit. anyways for what it's worth i was feelin this. peace

I was hoping to hear you rapping these lyrics, but the beat was sick.

I won't even critique this - it struck me more as a clearing of the storm clouds more than anything, not an attempt beyond that. It's funny to see your explanation after, which usually I don't like (you write, I read, the connections I make are mine kind of thing), but in this case it added a framework to the chaos that I had already picked up upon.

In any case, nothing really to critique in my opinion, felt more like a writing exercise for you, which is always nice since your rhyming is quick and clever. Glad to see you're around, def one of my favorites to read.