Netcees - Enlightenment

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- Open Mic Section (http://netcees.org/forumdisplay.php?f=6)

- - Enlightenment (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=50846)

http://i.imgur.com/wnio45n.png

Enlightenment

...That memory, I’ve got it frozen
Trust is such a raw emotion, some of them draw closer
Soon the others flock the rows, foot stomps approach
the long lit portal, feeling lucky as I watch them flow in.
It was us thats chosen just to usher folk into apotheosis

I remember being lost and stupid
All consumed and caught up in a groove the truths I knew had locked me
Grew up cocky, prodigal, in lieu of all the obstacles that swoop to block me
Thoughts that turn to knowledge of robotics merge with human bodies
Saw me off to college where they taught me till I turned the tide like magic
And they learned more from me fast, I get my masters in but ALL degrees
I grasp genetics flawlessly, had passion for bionetics that was canted as an oddity
Slanted as anomaly, expanded on their nano-tech and vastly shift neurology
But after Grads when finally, I find the credit, glamour of a diamond etching
Gather up my rivals, think aligned, in fact, combine our efforts
Draft out a design that link our minds into a cybernetic avatar and redefine our planet
Largest cultural advancement since the car, enlarged the atmospheric scape we’re in
Brain-computer interfaces changed the human race of men
Androids are replacing them, no manufactured payments owed
When 2020 takes us whole, their common place as maids in homes
This change of growth is strange, but shows us ancient ways are taking hold
Came to know our brains until the linkage in the chain was whole
Sink a chamber in your lobe and drain our souls and throw them into vacant hosts
Problems spawned and came to focus, slowly people ageing older
Overpopulation was a raising trait, I THEN demanded
Jet on past the depth of blackness, vessel lands on Mars amongst the desert sand
The planned expansion of a second planet set in granite, lets us get the next progression
Bred a method that could end in Godliness, but was determinant on ALL of us
We learned in 2033 to permanently send our consciousness, evolve and grow
Forever in robotic hosts, severing the thoughts we’d known of physics in reality
We’d found the hidden fountain and the gift of immortality
Through images of chalices, through glyphs and scriptures speech on balance
Each profound indeed, a new religion dawns when our consumerism squanders dead
We ponder then, arriving at the graves we've made, crying at the makers wake
Arriving at the sites of those who died before the change was made
Disdain, it stays. Conquered life, but pain lives on in it’s hour
Pay homage with flowers then move onwards to scour the pages
Strengthening the bonds you've allowed to evolve in the now
As an author in an age where only knowledge is power

@ZYG

hey nig, (no racist). this was really good man. as u know im not really on that outerspace shit but this was pretty cool, futuristic cyborg shit, worked pretty well with the pic. told a pretty good little story. really good vocab. really good complexity and scheming. a few parts didn't read 100% smooth as criticism but overall this is a really really solid drop. ur style can be a bit intimidating maybe. i notice u seem to not get a ton of feed usually. it might be the picture thing, ppl see the pic and if they dont like it probly fuck off without even reading. u have sick rhyming ability which i have always enjoyed. i myself find ur topics a little too out there sometimes but i get what ur doing just trying to do something different, so props for even going there a lot of the time.

Thanks for the read and breakdown Copy, just peeped this. I know you definitely prefer my more down to earth flex's and that these sort of topicals aren't youre particular steez so an extra kudos for finding this enjoyable. Will scower the form for a piece to return this feed.

Thanks for the tagging function, you picked it, this was really enjoyable to read. Good discussion of transhumanism. Personal views are more cynical than this, I think rather than mind into cyborg body it will be more like cyborg parts into human body, old stuff like cochlear implants, pacemakers and new artificial eyes they are making. Only then it will only be available for the select few, call them the 0.1%. Formation of a new social class, augmented ones, repetition of feudalism. Enjoyed this refined line: “Androids are replacing them, no manufactured payments owed” – good comment on the manufacturing profit-culture. Also this line was good and perhaps deserved a bit more exposition: “Each profound indeed, a new religion dawns when our consumerism squanders dead” – would be cool to have its own whole story, about this consumerism religion. “Strengthening the bonds you've allowed to evolve in the now
As an author in an age where only knowledge is power” I think it is a comment on the globalization of the world due to internet and phones. Good working of this image, the Mars descriptions did well for the background desert, and the tech stuff for the blueish glow and the kind of steampunk wandering figures and crash site.

Nigma mah dude I'll give this four star work man. I've seen you do better oms an topicals but this falls in your regular line of work. You had imagery working here and the flow was transcendent. Good drop bro!

Nice shit E, haven't lost it.