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-   -   dr suess lettin loose (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=46854)

YDK 01-18-2014 02:28 AM

dr suess lettin loose
 
Sitting in the living room
Thinking bout wat I been living through,
Here's a thought an a verse
that it was written too, I'm giving you.
High as fuck I'm zoned out
emotions stuck like I'm sniffin glue,
Wat the fuck have a did ta you?
I asked for a kid you'd give me 2,
Now I'm acting like you owe me
for taking care of the old me,
I put it down you pick it up
I throw it back like fuck you!
The truth is I love you
after all the shit that you've stuck through,
I'm changed now I've made it out
of the old ways that controlled my life,
I'm on the grind wit a real job
an a real future that looks bright,
My son an daughter are proud of me
but I still ain't fuckin sleeping right,
Only thing I know I need
Is ta get that ring to keep my wife.
That's real shit can ya feel it?
I mean seriously I can't feel shit,
Emotions numb I can't deal wit,
So I spark the blunt while I heal quick.
Pain killers don't kill shit
except my nerves I will split.
I'm out this bitch lock the door,
Or I'm coming back wit a steel clip.
Brain running like I gotta narc on it,
Fucked up off some narcotics,
You don't like my ideas then fuck you
if you ain't down ta ride I'll park on it.
Now back to the room I'm sitting in,
Back to the mood I'm switching pens,
Gotta clean slate an fresh paper
I'm ready ta roll as it gets hit again.
Watch the joint burn as it runs slow,
Emotions getting thicker than gun smoke,
Never hit a girl but I'll hit this bitch,
I'll cut this bitch in the front row
Relax hoe I'm just talking bout my blunt bro.
I'm Batman without the belt bitch
I'm old man I'm feelin helpless
I've done the time I've put in work
but I still get blamed for being selfish.
I can't help it.
Damn
I just tried to be a man,
Never realizing what it takes just to stand,
Never accepting the thought that I can't,
Steven Hawkins with confidence
Dr suess like stand? I can!

big baby 01-18-2014 02:32 PM

what short lines! it's cool. such aggression in this piece. would love to have more aggression and imagery than just what you're feeling at the moment and what you're going to do.

Scripter 01-19-2014 01:01 AM

I thought it had a nice steady flow something people can relate too. Nice piece!

e11even 01-19-2014 07:30 PM

..... sam i am!

I swore i thought that was gonna pop into view lol. Dope drop. A little on the simple side, but the realness in this overflowed and i loved that. Keep it up bro.

Exis 01-21-2014 12:33 AM

Simple yet cool with it...honestly flow was kinda all over the place to me but I suffered thru the jerkiness and thought what you delivered be decent...I like the emotion, loved the realness...hated the title yet it complimented what you dropped here nicely, bit of a mixed bag in a good way man lol...would fly in audio probably, as a text piece it's straight.

Stay uppity.

CopyPat 01-21-2014 03:32 AM

haha cool man. pretty refreshing as far as content is concerned. on some real real realness! u didn't hold back, you were super upfront and honest, you weren't tryna act like something ur not. was a good read. on a technical level the rhymes were super basic but u got ur point across and u came with some emotion so this was a solid piece, stay posting dude


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