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-   -   Time is an illusion? (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=44494)

Scripter 01-08-2014 11:29 AM

Time is an illusion?
 
I guess it's time to start a new thread
I been beaten half eating been torn up in shreds
I been joken with old country folk an
I guess I am a country growin bunkin
I bumped my head snored hit the knob on door an fell outta the bed
an caught the clawn hammer that fell offa the bureau the claw end
it lunged deep in the back side of my head
I guess I coulda been cheddar bob
or not been such a slob
an had a better life
or at least knew a beast from the east
but instead was nothing but the subtle type
I kept bobbling with head wobbling with butts bouncing with my eyes coming outta my head
not happy with one better choice
but I do have remorse for at least a few things that I've said
and haven't said...
fuck you assholes get a life?
naw I already said that in fact I said that twice
so shred that squash it burn it
and stab it with a butter knife
I kept my head up no matter what the weathers like
while bungie cording jumping like rerecording
around my neck like the cord of life
to be caught up pissed that my own families dissing I ain't 50
tell me what a quarters like...
yeah I know I'm white...
but been bored with script kinda skits though
he kinda like the board or type
you can see through
he got flow the more he writes
sell those records like there prototypes
hes frodo no fro do come on you know the ring is right
you already know do he knows how to bring it an
keep singing solo with depth so low
that han solo would again be losing sight
I'm a firewalker like I'm Texas ranger walker
but more deranged with saws and chains razor blades and Stevie Wonder
the solo type

Exis 01-09-2014 10:00 PM

Honestly this wasn't really my thing...didn't like how you started shit off with the first 5 lines startin' with 'I'.At times flow was choppy for me, there's parts where it's all good just wasn't kept consistent enough to make for a butter like read.This is probably only the second joint I've ever commented on of yours so yeah, I'll feed as you drop to see if you can win me over with your style in the future lol... No hate man just my thoughts on the real.

Stay uppity.

Scripter 01-10-2014 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Exis (Post 246478)
Honestly this wasn't really my thing...didn't like how you started shit off with the first 5 lines startin' with 'I'.At times flow was choppy for me, there's parts where it's all good just wasn't kept consistent enough to make for a butter like read.This is probably only the second joint I've ever commented on of yours so yeah, I'll feed as you drop to see if you can win me over with your style in the future lol... No hate man just my thoughts on the real.

Stay uppity.

Hey thanks for the feed! I like different writing styles, I'm glad your not hating...

wondering who this admin is that is hating...

Just Write 01-10-2014 11:28 AM

It was a little elementary for me but i still see potential. Words liie bunkin and hutter knife are just real lame to put in a piece. Try concentrating on a subject and just let it come naturally. I see a lot of people trying to do too much, just talk like a normal person hut make it rhyme lol. Be smarter than the pen and paper. Andways for what it was it was cool. Keep at it bro, try some different shit. Peace

Scripter 01-10-2014 12:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just Write (Post 246852)
It was a little elementary for me but i still see potential. Words liie bunkin and hutter knife are just real lame to put in a piece. Try concentrating on a subject and just let it come naturally. I see a lot of people trying to do too much, just talk like a normal person hut make it rhyme lol. Be smarter than the pen and paper. Andways for what it was it was cool. Keep at it bro, try some different shit. Peace

maybe you just misspelled but it was "butter knife".
I guess the idea was to make it sound lame, for example with time things get better type of idea...

Thanks for the feed always appreciated!


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