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-   -   UnBeautiful Life. Verse 2. (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=43847)

Geno 01-05-2014 06:03 PM

UnBeautiful Life. Verse 2.
 
But the kid ain't mean to ruin his night
All she came here to do is live her own beautiful life
She grew up despite the hate and despair
And laughs when people say her life isn't as crazy as thiers
At a young age wanted to run from the storm
And away from her parents who fought just because she was born
Looked at the pouring rain, afraid, tired of being a burden
Feeling the pain, how much could fucking be in one person!?
Her demons were perfect, the curses, and the blood in her veins
Her fathers addictions, and mothers would uncover her fate
The steps she would take to avoid the feelings she fought
The feelings of fault, that caused her world to really dissolve
building a vault, concealiing the thoughts she wouldn't share
Cause it was easier to hide, then to find people who cared
Scared, seemed like people were scarce, and nature would hit
Like a brick, she gets high, calls it the only way to exist

Vulgar 01-05-2014 06:52 PM

Plainer than usual from you, and I say that because it's blunt vs. a little wordplay mixed in like you do sometimes, which complements the storyline and keeps it from getting monotonous. Decent writing here, could be spruced up in certain parts.

Exis 01-05-2014 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Genocide (Post 242559)
But the kid ain't mean to ruin his night
All she came here to do is live her own beautiful life
She grew up despite the hate and despair
And laughs when people say her life isn't as crazy as thiers
At a young age wanted to run from the storm
And away from her parents who fought just because she was born
Looked at the pouring rain, afraid, tired of being a burden
Feeling the pain, how much could fucking be in one person!?
Her demons were perfect, the curses, and the blood in her veins
Her fathers addictions, and mothers would uncover her fate

^^That's tight.

Not to sound all homo but this is one of those pieces that when I read it the feelin' it gives is a beautiful one...it's effortless to read in other words, what I quoted was nice with it man and around that section was solid.Emotion wise it's hot but with havin' not read part 1 I've obviously picked up with things mid way and can only assume what came before this (I'm almost sure you we link me now lol) so yeah...from what I peeped here alone though shit was dope. Enjoyable stuff bro.

Stay uppity.


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