Bottle Cap Blues
 

It was harder than normal to open this beer. I started a porno, its loading…it’s here
Already plunked down when I yearned for a taste. So getting up now, was surely a waste
I got bottle cap blues after a long ass shift. And it’s all I can do, to have to not have a sip
But there's no f’n way I’m goin all the way up. Cause I know there’s plenty ways to open bottles with junk
I found a little knife that I could hopefully use. I’m scrounging with it like a guy that’s homeless would do
I’m panicking tryin to get this lid straight off. While attackin' my Heineken with switch blade saws
Finally! Crack! The greatest sound on the earth. I kinda lean back and take the bow I deserve
I’ll have one last gaze at this tall green beaut. Then it’s chug back pace till it all seems moot
Now I can relax, ass was busted this evening. Wow it hit me fast, but it was just what I needed
I soon realize the plan was crap to begin with. I'll need 2 or 3 supplied so now it’s back to the kitchen..

Heineken!

Heineken is terrible.

Thanks for the stellar feedback, i know u'll edit ur post though, at least i hope u do.

And wtf! Heineken is the beer of gods, theres something wrong with ur mouth.

heineken is delicious indeed. best thing out of holland.

this was awesome pat. i know exactly the type of feeling you had while writing this. nothing can beat that first post-work beer.

the first line, the homeless would do and switchblade saws were my favorite segments. you also switched your flow up a bit for this verse which was refreshing even in it's brevity.

dope as always man. legit made me thirsty for a heineken but i have not a one and its too fucking cold and probably too early to walk and get a 6-pack. oh well

thanks

Cool short rhyming story my man

Lol...could be just me but I swear every time you do anythin' close to a topical it's about beer or food.This was a fun read man, it should appeal to most as a lot can relate to it but yeah this was a nice little flex.Your switch ups were pretty smooth and with the usual splatterin' of Multies flow wise shit was solid...enjoyable stuff.

And thanks for the feed bro,
Stay uppity.

hahaha ur basically right ex. but this ain't a topical homie, its just real life

Enjoyed the switch in rhyme scheme, limiting yourself to basically 2 huge multiple rhymes per line was a good technique, especially considering when you've usually written these with the rhymes extending on for many lines. By utilizing slanting rhymes you are able to create these fully rhyming lines - it is actually a proper thing called the "Holorime."