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-   -   Genodus. (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=3884)

Geno 02-16-2013 10:57 PM

Genodus.
 
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Empty inside, its I, before my mom and dad ever collide
With their testicles tied, this is me on a molecular side
A stencil of mine, the rough draft I was founded upon
The cytoplasmic cabin, a spawn, a dope rapper devolved
Back into small, before I ever mattered at all, I was a germ
Divided from sperm, a worm, for lack of more popular terms
Not your concern, these are just the facts of development
Passed as irrelevant, but we've all been plasma, the delicates
Let me take you back to your elements, absent inteligence
Back when your measurements microscopically sediment
Obvious, evident, that we've come far from bacteria, growth
Debate youve evolved but can't deny the theory, it shows
Serious though, sick of hearing how my nucleus is really a hoax
But No, cause nowadays I have some feelings, some toes
Exposed, some actual buzz, proud as fuck I ain't the capsule I was
That would be tough, I'm more satisfied about the casual stuff
Asthma and dust, the grass being cut, a fine womans gradual touch
The words I write, master, conduct, the action of love
The fact my daughters world hasn't begun, the fact that she's here
Damn, If not for dna we never would of happened, appeared

Fig 02-16-2013 11:18 PM

Not your concern, these are just the facts of development Passed as irrelevant, but we've all been plasma, the delicates Let me take you back to your elements, absent inteligence Back when your measurements microscopically sediment Obvious, evident, that we've come far from bacteria, growth Debate youve evolved but can't deny the theory, it shows

^^^
Nice drop geno. It reminded me of the mad rambling that goes on in my mind when i ponder some aspect of life. I never really come to a conclusion, I just submit to amazement and ponder. The flow was on point but it got a little repetitive after a while. Nice use of vocab though, and just enough multis. I didn't feel like the technical aspects were screaming out at me, and it allowed for a smooth read. Nice drop.

Oh and happy birthday man.

Geno 02-16-2013 11:21 PM

Everytime I see immacs tits/cleavage.. its my bday allover again. Thanks bruh

Geno 02-17-2013 05:37 PM

Yup

zygote 02-18-2013 02:15 AM

This was a good verse, only some parts didn't focus well. E.g., the "casual stuff" lines. Enjoyed the progression from cell to fetus - highlight was "some feelings, some toes." Just as an aside on the last line. There are some theories that argue that RNA not DNA was the basis of life on earth. And other ones that argue that viruses may have been the first self-replicating unit. It's pretty interesting and your writing/topic here stimulated some thought.

Natural 01-04-2014 07:18 AM

Bump

jdeek 01-04-2014 09:44 AM

@Fig.. It reminded me of the mad rambling that goes on in my mind when i ponder some aspect of life. I never really come to a conclusion, I just submit to amazement and ponder

^^^lol. me too...nailed it.

@ geno...this is different from what i remember reading from you, but it's nice. good vocab, cool concept, and consistent throughout. nothing really stood out too much..but i like it as a whole. i agree about the evolution shit...people debate it..but every one of us has already done it...lol..anyways man..good drop.

Natural 01-04-2014 05:28 PM

@Genocide
See what I'm sayin
This is structured far different than you been lately
Much cleaner looking
While I don't recommend you going back to this steeze(you've done mastered it), I do recommend you switching back to structuring ya verses like this.
My two cents


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