HAPPY DESTROY BAG'S LIFE DAY
 

stories about how u want bags to die posted here
we will be judging, write the best way u think scum bag, bags should die
kill that faggot

1st place
2nd
3rd

I'm gonna go get high then edit this post.

I will subscribe to this upon returning to my place of residence.

There will be death. There should be an accomplishment for the best tale.

i hope he gets tortured to death until every inch of his soul gives up before his body collapses from not being strong enough to handle it

bags could die with that five finger shit from kill bill but i'd rather cripple him and allow him to see what a pathetic faggot he is every day of the year until he notices that he's just an insecure, clumsy barely over minimum wage making netcee pussy faggot keyboard gangsta
but before that, i'd inject him w/ AIDS in the neck. i'd also throw him off a bridge and hope he survives, so that i can continue torturing him. his body would go limb after i execute him electric chair style until he's screaming and crying on some "no, i have a wife and kids, i'll give u whatever u want" shit as i rip the ducktape off his mouth with the shit attached to him. i would shoot him in the head, but he'd die quicker so i'd make sure to bring him as close to death w/o dying as possible.

if he's alive after everything, i'd pay for a prison and leave those dudes w/o food or anything else for a week and then throw bags into the jail and lock it up while i release all the prison mates so they can rape him to death and subsequently kill any false pride or self-esteem he has built into his gut while they prey on his flesh and bones

That was very hateful.

Its kinda odd reading these about yourself....lmao


MOAR

I HOPE BAGS HAS A WONDERFUL DAY AND DOES POSITIVE THINGS THROUGHOUT HIS LIFE AND THAT MASTERBATING PHONE LADYS BECOME IN PERSON FUCK DOLLS AND HIS HATEFUL DEMEANOR TOWARDS NERDS AND THE LESS COOL TURNS INTO A LOVE FOR THE AWKWARD AND DIFFERENT AND THAT HE USES HIS POPULARITY TO MAKE THANKSGIVING ALONE APPEAR TO BE AN OK THING IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS ALSO THAT HIS CHILD GROWS UP AS A NON BOARDER WND DOESNT PICK UP THE BLACKCENT HER FATHER LEARNED FROM IDK WHO MY ONLY GUESS IS CASPER FROM KIDS AND I HOPE BAGS HANGS OUT WITH ME ONE DAY SO I CAN PROVE THAY ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS IS NOT ENOUGH FOR ME TO PUNCH HIM IN HIS MOUTH AND I PRAY THAT HE BECOMES SUCCESSFUL AT WHATEVER HE DOES HIS LIFE EXCEPT I DONT CAUSE GOD ISNT REAL OBVIOUSLY OK PEACE OUT

It was this or write a speech. Thanks Allen


Bags' newfound usage of milk in order to achieve gains will be his ultimate downfall.

Unbeknownst to (relatively) young Anthony, he's developed a slight but definite lactose intolerance. While his stomach has been relatively strong, the dedication to his muscular growth will create a problem his body is unprepared for. What he, at first, shakes off as his body 'getting used to' all of this fuel for his gains is the vanguard for Bags' demise.

The sickness is tolerable at first. Our unknowing tragic hero puts himself on what he sees as a 'safe' regimen - half a gallon a day. The flatulence and occasional vomiting are but a small fare for the ride along the path of bodily divinity. On top of that, his love of telling poor college kids 'gosh, if I had that much student debt I might just consider killing myself out of obligation to my family' has lead to an unprecedented amount of sick days saved up, meaning this slight interference won't stop him from receiving the pay he needs for his precious milk. This sickness, however, has stopped him from exercising, but the calories from milk become, in his warped little mind, the 'gains' he so desperately sought after.

Years pass. 7, to be exact. Bags is a bloated shell of a man. Pale, grotesque, but with slightly larger lats, he is rushed to what will be his final stay at Harrisburg's finest hospital/mcdonalds (a business model developed by Cashius in 2015, but that's another thread). As the bed gives way to support his massive frame, bags attempts to sit up and reach his phone to post on PRNBIA (we finally managed to merge, but the ensuing site shutdowns and having to re-register left only diode, eddie, and He whose name shall not be spoken as active figures in text. Allen Knight made an account to call bags a faggot but forgot how to spell his password immediately. Ironically enough, it was 'faggot') about some other muscle gaining strategy he read about in Sports Illustrated Kids. In doing so, he makes an awkward turn, wherein the fragile lining of his stomach tears, finally spilling his disgusting acidic mass into the entirety of his torso.

His pupils dilate.

He defecates.

Sweat forms at his brow.

He defecates again.

He vomits.

He defecates again.

He reaches for his phone, attempting to make one last video.

Defecating again, he manages to hit what he thinks is the 'record' button. But his phone was on camera mode - instead of starting to record he has taken a picture of himself vomiting, while shitting himself. Unaware, he begins his last words.


'HEY BROS. BAGS HERE... I MAY HAVE SHIT MYSELF'

He defecates again.

'I PROBABLY SHIT MYSELF'

He vomits, sweat pouring down his rotund face.

Hospital staff, patients, and passers-by alike all can hear this with perfect clarity.

'I JUST WANTED TO SAY.... ALLEN KNIGGHHHH.... YOU FUCKIN... YOU FUCKIN....'

He defecates again.

As his lungs and heart corrode and melt, muscle spasms cause him to hit the 'capture' button multiple times. (Split Eight, upon hacking into Bags' phone recovers them all and sells them to the huffington post for half of an 'Alf' sweater and a special edition Star Wars episode 1 1/3 bubble tape. They later print them in full color on a slow news day.)

The room blackens for Bags. Doctors and nurses rushing to his aid become silhouettes, then vague figures, then nothing.

He defecates again.

Reflecting on his life and the fatal decision and dedication that would define and ultimately end it, Bags realizes that his lats are so sweet.

The heart monitor hits a single, monotonous tone that resonates from the highest of registers all the way down to the depths of hell.

He defecates one last time.

Good night, Bagsworth.

Lunch was a meatball sub, marinara drizzled over it.
Anthony was sober, yet still screamed at the dude who toasted it.
"FUCK! I'm going to fuck this hot milf and need my energy."
Anthony was sober, yet still thought he might be getting V.
But fuck it, Anthony sat down and ate his sandwich,
in Harrisburg, where a swoll I-talian had an advantage
over these small-dick WASPs. Not that his sausage was huge,
but he was all right with it. And he had the meatballs, too.
He knew this one milf named Ally. Her son was autistic.
He'd have that pussy so spread another kid might drop with it.
The text read, "Hey, when can you break for a minute?"
Anthony knew his daughter wouldn't want a retard to visit,
so he wasn't going for the playdate angle that usually works.
Five minutes passed. She responded, "Let's screw after church."
Whoa, Anthony doesn't usually get that kind of reply,
so he sent a pic of his bulge with a tissue-stuffer lining his thigh.
Today was Thursday, though. FUCK! Anthony's patience was thin.
"Hey, can we make it sooner? I might be taken by then."
The joke didn't go over well, but he coaxed a response.
"Sure, my ex has Tommy tomorrow. Come by at, oh, 6 o'clock."
He spent the rest of his night drinking and making a video mag
and no-showing a championship match like he's bigger than that.
He would have jerked, too, but he needed to be ready for sex.
plus his ball sweat was smelling like that sub: spaghetti and death.

Anthony listened to Rocky soundtracks to prepare for the date,
with his persistent 3 o'clock shadow game, he'd swear he looked great.
Axe covered his rotten scrotum. Ally wouldn't know the difference.
So he pulled on his jeans, so fly he even forgot to zip it.
He walks up to her house about five fifty-three.
"Come in." Such a sexy tone. Anthony's thinking, Are you kidding me?
Anthony hasn't been laid once since he created his daughter,
or so he thinks. She's actually spawn of some black dude named Arian Foster.
But whatever. That's neither here nor there, and Ally's both.
She's in a tiny nighty, complete with the Cleopatra pose.
Anthony approaches, ready to get his fuck game on REAL BIG,
and as he goes to kiss her, she reveals a wig.
"FUCK YOU BITCH DIE YOU COCKSUCKER I TOLD YOU I WOULD KILL BITCH!"
"Wait, Ally? Allen. Allen FUCKING KNIGHT?! YOU DID THIS SHIT?"
Allen Knight pulled out the chainsaw under the chair
and sliced Anthony in half with one thunderous snare.
Anthony had a closed-casket funeral, but there's one positive twist.
His daughter met her real father and immediately realized how much more awesome he is.
And she plans to thank Allen Knight some day.
Sexually.
Probably by swallowing dick.

i hope this pathetic fagg0t endures a year long metamorphosis of transforming from pussy to light weight vagina only to drown in the waste acids of his own cocoon

i hope this pathetic fagg0t slides down a giant rusty blade into a an ancient hawaiian volcano, but somehow manages to escape only to find his child at the top of the volcano, who tells him his a pathetic father and then roundhouse kicks him back down to the ashes of his fiery doom

i hope this pathetic fagg0t gets crushed to death under a stampede of wild elephants, but somehow manages to survive only to be met with hiennas and vultures picking away at his flesh and the pieces of flab that hang of his rotting corpse

i hope this pathetic fagg0t dies from reading his own posts, literally, like he decides to rekindle lost memories of his millions of threads in the discs and after 10 hours of reading his own dickery dies from a lack of lulz

i hope & pray this pathetic fagg0t dies Japanese execution style, where they don't tell the condemned when their execution date is so they can spend their entire time contemplating the moment when the executioner comes into his cell, reads his charges and slices his fucking head off with a 100 year old samurai sword, except in bags case they dont have swords and have to use a spoon so it ends up taking up to 12 hours of jamming, hacking and forcefully inserting the spoon into the fagg0t's neck till its completely decapated - but the twist is that he ends up drowing in a pool of his own blood, sweat and saliva before that happens

wow smh ur garbage





dont need to hope bags died anymore, he just did reading ur shitty post fagg0t

good god, u been on my dick all day

@God Of War come get ur lackey dude

hey fuckb0y u called me out in the fast n furious thread pussy



i normally ignore u

Vote sharp

I will read these all by the end of the day....

Jesus christ at sharp eights tho....looooll

I lold at least 3-4 times irl.

Looololololol

Even deader@it rhyming


@Allen Knight

Lold harddd

Wow first 2 were great....minus dlb....shit was weak.

Ill read sum more tgis afternoon

Maybe list quotables too

Well then.

Lmfaaaaooooo @ certain hahaha he killed it
This thread is A+++, everyones stories are good