Who else is in this group?
 

Scrap that I just found the list
@ill nik-A @Bags

Mind giving some feedback on my drop for my battle with rayge when i got it. Few pointers etc.

Post it here

Alright this was I got so far so some directional points or whatever would be nice. To be honest I am only really happy with the first one at the moment, just playing with different ideas.

We charging for him to see Ill? cus he about to witness it
Only time your name is next to skill fo real is in this title bitch

im not usually one for gay jokes player
but he aint named after anger its an anagram of gayer

im pickin up steel beams you cant even pick up yo bars
you ill? you couldnt spit sick even if you were riddled wit sars

You hot? easy to put rayging fire out fella
I extinguish the weak while i sit around and wait for better

Ill show you Rayge cus son yo concepts played
Everyone of them punches belongs in the closed battles thread where they were made

After Bruce Waters an Camp Bell you still think you can blow up?
Bitch they didnt have a single punch an you were too pussy to show up

rayge you aint explosive, you a dud dude, understand?
you couldnt blow even if team orc all gave you a hand

Seen some of your battles bitch - yo concepts overplayed
heard them more then psy's gangnam style, and the wanteds glad you came



to be honest looking back only the first one seems any good

Alright this was I got so far so some directional points or whatever would be nice. To be honest I am only really happy with the first one at the moment, just playing with different ideas.

We charging for him to see Ill? cus he about to witness it
Only time your name is next to skill fo real is in this title bitch

its ok, but these type of lines have been done, and done and done, played. dont be afraid to reach man, fuck a comfort zone

im not usually one for gay jokes player
but he aint named after anger its an anagram of gayer

an anagram is a word that us comprised of the same letters in dif order? k, kinda complex, u might have lost sum on that, or sent them to google, not good. also theres no sting on this, by the time ur bar ends it should feel like u spit on his dead mothers corpse


im pickin up steel beams you cant even pick up yo bars
you ill? you couldnt spit sick even if you were riddled wit sars

nah, way too played, dont do a , im so sick or ull never be as sick as etc....that shits aincient, also sars ?? even that illness is dated...lol

You hot? easy to put rayging fire out fella
I extinguish the weak while i sit around and wait for better

is there a concept here? seems like a bland statement, concepts man always have a concept


Ill show you Rayge cus son yo concepts played
Everyone of them punches belongs in the closed battles thread where they were made

that aint really a diss tho, u got the right idea with this tho but his punches should be sum where awful, humiliating, putrid abysmal, worthless not just the closed battles thread, or call them old, they should be in a nursing home or sumthing etc, NEEDS MORE 'FUCK U'

After Bruce Waters an Camp Bell you still think you can blow up?
Bitch they didnt have a single punch an you were too pussy to show up

this isnt bad, maybe ur best attempt so far, still kinda simple

rayge you aint explosive, you a dud dude, understand?
you couldnt blow even if team orc all gave you a hand

set up seemed to have a concept then u just eased off on the punch? if ur concept is just blow/succeed/explosives thats not good enuff u gotta figure these nerds been writin these bars since the late 90's u gotta think outside the box homie


Seen some of your battles bitch - yo concepts overplayed
heard them more then psy's gangnam style, and the wanteds glad you came

idk this reference, this makes a point that u have to be careful to cater to ur audience, if u gonna do a reference make sure its a well known reference, cuz this went completely over me an i would just ignore this bar, im not one for googling




wasnt trying to be harsh hope its not interpreted that way but i just wanna give u an idea of how people are gonna view ur verses when u lay them

stay up

to be honest looking back only the first one seems any good[/QUOTE]

Feedback was great cheers fam - That and it was fucking hillarious..

Still....I find that when I am to creative people miss it, so I trying to be more generic but then im too generic...

Wheres the mo fuckin middle ground you feel me...

Anyways cheers dude

i feel u 100%

the set up is ur best friend if u trynna be overly complex or creative, ive had craxy concepts flushed down the tubes cuz people missed em but in search of that middle ground u mentioned i realized if i explained the fuck out of the bar in my set up an partially in the punch it became more clear for readers, an helps u to utilize the set up for its actually purpose any ways, setting the bar up lol, people just think its a filler line, nah set up is crucial imo, at least if u trynna get deep, if u can be crisp an concise while still being harsh more power to ya, god of war can do it, but myself an even nik i feel have similar styles that are more in depth an require deeper narrative

Get creative but remember what I said about wording

It's ur responsibility to make it clear so that ppl get it

You got wording issues, bad concepts and basically no skill
So unlike u I ain't go to fake a rhythm homie, this flow real
@Flo Real <3

@Witty thats really good

....

No no no this is backwards

Lol

Concepts bro... Wording bro

Post em

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