Netcees - Diode mentioned sha bat......and i dont think alot of the current members here have had the pleasure?

http://img405.imageshack.us/img405/5062/uhoh1.jpg

PREFACE

This book is old as shit. Honestly i can't tell you how old it is, because no one knows. Most guesstimate 52097802 BT (Before thought). So in being so old, it doesnt translate cleanly into english, so the writer may seem like he sucks, but its different interpretations. This is the raw diggy dog version. Prepare for Enlightenment.

SHA'BAT!

1:1

The lord of light sat his throne. His Heavens smelled of ripe fruits and bacon. The mistress of the dark sat her throne. Her underworld smelled of shitty ass and toe mold. Both were chilling one day when they came to the realization they were lonely. So they left there domains and roamed the all. Neither had met one like themselves and given no prior training in a way of a family. They were, they thought, they did. They found each other. They did battle. The underworld was frozen and the heavens were in flames. They battled on. After 5 days or 5 minutes, both were exhausted. They connected spiritually through sex, and the lord of light layed his seed in the mistress of darkness. Then he layed more on her face. Sha'bat was created.

1:2

When Sha'bat was born, he was left in the nothingness of the all. The lord of light went back to his domain, and the mistress of darkness to hers. His company were voidwalkers and shadowmen. He fought. He roamed. He conquered. One Day He came upon a staircase. He ascended, and was in a gazebo in the middle of a desert. The sun glanced off the redsand blinding him as he heard the laugh. The lord of light walked over to his son. Sha'bat bashed the lord of the light in the face knocking him unconscience. Sha'bat walked on through the desert. He dug deep for water and ate vultures. He came upon a dark forest. Full of evergreens and cold. Sha'bat did not know the feeling. Sha'bat liked the feeling. He stayed.

1:3

The lord of light met with the mistress of darkness. He told the tale of there son. It was decided he would be left to his own devices until he could be approached. In the meantime, they worked diligently on creating something to do. They were constantly bored, just existing, and needed something engaging to pass the time. One day they made something miraculous. In a clear globe sat a ball. The mistress of dark shrouded the ball in darkness and set it to spin. The lord of light threw down a ball of flame and a world was created. They found out they could descend into the world, and there were those that looked like themselves within. They found out they were nothing like them. The globe men were naught but shadows of them. Where they travelled in the globe there legend grew. Sha'bat caught wind of their glories.

1:4

Sha'bat found the globe. Sha'bat entered it. Sha'bat travelled in search of the two who were so high acclaimed. Who brought miracles and destruction to whereever they went. They were the blessing and the curse. Shabat sought to setting things straight while they dabbled in there fancies. Then he found them. They were drunk from the pleasure of living and Sha'bat was not pleased. He battled them both. All over the globe they battled. Sha'bat won. As he stood on there throats he chanted the words Jui jaia el chupacabra. And they were banished to there domains. Sha'bat followed the lord of light and spoke with him. Sha'bat spent a long time meditating in the cold mountainous forest and brought new ideas to the gods. The lord of light, was in constant struggle with the mistress of darkness. for they were attracted to eachother yet for them to be together was disasterous. And this is what began.

1:5

They stayed there domains, Sha'bat learning what he could from each of them. Sometimes there need would be too great, and they would batter there defenses. When this happened it set ripples into the world in which they created, causing uproar amongst the living. Uproar meant war. Sha'bat became the lord of war. He fought for the weaker side every time, and would tip the scale with his skill. Riding a grizzled bear into battle wielding the twin battle axes of light and dark. He would quell the uprising and hold the peace.

1:6

Sha'bat found a woman. She was amazing in every aspect. But she was human. Sha'bat did not care. She was the mighty human Ezrains woman. Sha'bat killed Ezrain and took the woman Helgalina. Leaving her with the mistress of the dark he grabbed many bottles of the dark mistresses liquor and headed back to earth. He journeyed through the forests and killed 43 bears. He got drunk. After awhile of chilling he got up to piss and pissed on the burning coals of his dying campfire. The instant his urine touched the coals an explosion ensued destroying the globe. And destroying Sha'bat.

1:5

Sha'bat stood before Frank Merda the lord of the dead. Frank Merda spoke. You are not of the living Sha'bat. You have no place here. Sha'bat left. Re-entering the heavens to check on his woman he was horrified. The Blast from the globe left nothing of the heavens. All was everywhere and everywhere was all. It was then he noticed the darkness was here too. Channeling powers he didnt know existed he held it all in motion, but it was still slowly expanding. He found if he leaked his powers into the all, its pace slowed and he could hold it for longer. He also noticed the kadrillions of globes, and the utter darkness speckled with light. Sending out his senses he noticed thousands that supported intelligent life. Leaking more of his source into these planets and giving the living more meaning then breeding. In doing so Sha'bat is all, and all is Sha'bat. Sha'bat waits for the day for one of the living to come upon his god senses. Sha'bat wants to go to his old life of chilling and killing when necesarry. Sha'bat himself prohphecised he could only hold out until 13422 AT (after thought) which translates into december 2012 ad. He also prophesised that a living being will rise. Saving the all. The mans name is uhoh.

1:6

In the dark of night he'll come. The crows shall follow, in his wake are graves. Heroes fall and tyrants rise. Humanity flees the sorrow, when havoc comes. But tomorrow is yesterday and today is gone. There is only one can brave the storm. He (pages smeared with blood. Unable to decipher) and he will rise to help Sha'bat from his burden, and create a new order for which all worlds shall follow.