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-   -   "Stone" (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=28912)

Lars 10-30-2013 07:32 AM

"Stone"
 
Take a concrete thought or idea
aim to spot the flaws that appear.
Before you adhere tools of the trade in
your engineering, view it with patience.
- Use your creative juices to crack it,
there's numerous ways if you just imagine!
Using a hammer could bring you results
but if you were to add just a chisel and sculpt
with unadulterated freedom of thought
& instinctive impulses leading the course
it could be so much more given time to perfect it.
- Clean up the corners and find a direction
File at each section that's rough at the edges
so its lines are connected & done to your credit.
Study your effort with critical eyes
looking intensely at which you've designed.
- Is it precise and holding your gaze
giving new life what you'd hoped to convey?
If no, strip away at the layers of debris
'til what solely remains the creation you dreamed.
As great an achievement as you could accomplish
a shape that's ideal and yet brutally honest.
A beautiful homage to original thought
remove what's unwanted and rid it of flaws.
Strip to the core of the subject in essence
exhibit it purely and cut the excesses.
So nothing is left but the principle premise
to sum up the rest and deliver your message.
See, in the possessive hands of an artist
this gift of expression comes natural regardless.
Whether tablet or parchment or what you prefer
it's how concrete concepts are turned into bodies of work.

Wise Wiggles 10-30-2013 09:15 AM

well done. couple slight hick ups but besides that a really flowing verse you posted. Reminds me of the track "how to be a carpenter".. keep at it and stay active..

Geno 10-30-2013 11:08 PM

This was cool
Like wise said, had some rouggh areas flow wise -ssuch as..

but if you were to add just a chisel and sculpt
with unadulterated freedom of thought

That was rough to read after smooth syllable plays and transitions that came before it

The content/concepts were cool. Not of the norm, nor was it particularly interesting imo.. which perhaps may only be my opinion... but never the less.

Keep posting, baron

Eŋg 10-31-2013 12:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Genocide (Post 194928)
nor was it particularly interesting imo.. which perhaps may only be my opinion...

don't look back, i got your back, bro! i mean i share your view///

True wit is nature to advantage dressed:
What oft was thought, but never so well expressed


idk couplets bother me a bit. not even couplets, probably... not counting. it's like wow diversify.

concept was cool. writing was inanimate. ironic?! NOT rain on your wedding day. what a stupid bitch she was. basically: your writ felt like it was trying to be didactic, but belonging to a teacher i wouldn't willingly listen to//doodle stuff on my palm when they spoke.


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