Itt explain why and how you could kick my ass ...
 

I'm 6'1 and weigh 250 and am 32 years of age and I don't smoke, drink or use recreational drugs .. I'm Actually pretty solid, no Dunlap and the love handles are very minimal at this point ... but still a little gut ... If their was a between mesomorph and endomorph build I'd probably be categorized as that. I do not work out with weights but do Shaun T's insanity when I can

I'm pretty quick for my size, I'm left leg/foot and right arm/hand dominate but can throw hands accurately with both even taking a south paw stance sometimes during fisticuffs

I have formal training in wrestling no wwe, work in a physical environment and have only lost one fist fight since I started throwing hands and 4 wrestling matches in high school where I wrestled heavyweight ( 275 max weight ) and only weighed 215, I would weigh in with a jansport on eating a whopper. Usually when I'm victorious in a fight I leave a stamp like the wet bandits from home alone flooding houses they robbed ...this is completely psychological so one never forgets his ass whopping.. We can discuss these at a later date

Please note I have had two acl replacements, a broken collarbone, a boxers fracture to my right 4th metacarpal twice the second also broke the growth plate in my 3rd metacarpal, nine separate broken fingers,a hairline fracture in my tibia, 2 diagnosed grade 2 concussions but probably many more undiagnosed ones a dislocated right shoulder and torn rotator cuff, one of my front teeth are false and my left orbital bone has had a bad fracture which led to my eye partially out of socket and have cut off half of the tip of my right hand middle finger. I have only had stitches as an infant, after surgeries and for my middle finger tip which still has no feeling in it .. I've only had two black eyes my whole life one from the orbital bone incident the other from a sucker punch the only injuries coming from fighting was one of the boxers breaks.

Now mount your attack and beat the shit out of me for a good reason

All info above is factual... And I expect fact based attacks


Also note I literally just almost died from a bacterial infection known as sepsis and still have a painful bout of cellulitis in my dominate leg, you may use this to your advantage

You would bore me with music as a diversion then sneak me ... I like the way you think diode

Start with the jab, counter and kidney shots.

Easy work.

The hulk of a man with a beer in his hand looked like a drunk old fool,
And I knew that if I hit him right, I could knock him off that stool.
But everybody said, "Watch out -- that's Tiger Man McCool.
He's had a whole lot of fights, and he always come out the winner.
Yeah, he's a winner."

But I'd had myself about five too many, and I walked up tall and proud,
I faced his back and I faced the fact that he'd never stooped or bowed.
I said, "Tiger Man, you're a pussycat," and a hush fell on the crowd,
I said, "Let's you and me go outside and see who's the winner"

Well, he gripped the bar with one big hairy hand and he braced against the wall,
He slowly looked up from his beer -- my God, that man was tall.
He said, "Boy, I see you're a scrapper, so just before you fall,
I'm gonna tell you just a little what a means to be a winner."

He said, "You see these bright white smilin' teeth, you know they ain't my own.
Mine rolled away like Chiclets down a street in San Antone.
But I left that person cursin', nursin' seven broken bones.
And he only broke three of mine, and that make me a winner."

He said, "Behind his grin, I got a steel pin that holds my jaw in place.
A trophy of my most successful motorcycle race.
And every mornin' when I wake and touch this scar across my face,
It reminds me of all I got by bein' a winner.

Now my broken back was the dyin' act of handsome Harry Clay
That sticky Cincinnatti night I stole his wife away.
But that woman, she gets uglier and meaner every day.
But I got her, boy, and that's what makes me a winner.

You gotta speak loud when you challenge me, son, 'cause it's hard for me to hear
With this twisted neck and these migraine pains and this cauliflower ear.
'N' if it weren't for this glass eye of mine, I'd shed a happy tear
To think of all you'll get by bein' a winner.

I got arthuritic elbows, boy, I got dislocated knees,
From pickin' fights with thunderstorms and chargin' into trees.
And my nose been broke so often I might lose it if I sneeze.
And, son, you say you still wanna be a winner?

My spine is short three vertebrae and my hip is screwed together.
My ankles warn me every time there'll be a change in weather.
Guess I kicked too many asses, and when the kicks all get together,
They sure can slow you down when you're a winner.

My knuckles are so swollen I can hardly make a fist.
Who would have thought old Charlie had a blade taped to his wrist?
And my blind eye's where he cut me, and my good eye's where he missed.
Yeah, you lose a couple of things when you're a winner.

My head is just a bunch of clumps and lumps and bumps and scars
From chargin' broken bottles and buttin' crowded bars.
And this hernia -- well, it only proves a man can't lift a car.
But you're expected to do it all when you're a winner.

Got a steel plate inside my skull, underneath this store-bought hair.
My pelvis is aluminum from takin' ladies' dares.
And if you had a magnet, son, you could lift me off my chair.
I'm a man of steel, but I'm rustin' -- what a winner.

I got a perforated ulcer, I got strictures and incisions.
My prostate's barely holdin' up from those all-night collisions.
And I'll have to fight two of you because of my double vision.
You're lookin' sick, son -- that ain't right for a winner.

Winnin' that last stock-car rce cost me my favorite toes.
Winnin' that factory foreman's job, it browned and broke my nose.
And these hemorrhoids come from winnin' all them goddamn rodeos.
Sometimes it's a pain in the butt to be a winner.

In the war, I got the Purple Heart, that's why my nerves are gone.
And I ruined my liver in drinkin' contests, which I always won.
And I should be retired now, rockin' on my lawn,
But you losers keep comin' on -- makin' me a winner.

When I walk, you can hear my pelvis rattle, creak and crack
From my great Olympic Hump-Off with that nymphomaniac,
After which I spent the next six weeks in traction on my back,
While whe walked off smilin' -- leavin' me the winner.

Now, as I kick in your family jewels, you'll notice my left leg drags,
And this jacket's kinda padded up where my right shoulder sags,
And there's a special part of me I keep in this paper bag,
And I'll show it to you -- if you want to see all of the winner.

So I never play the violin and I seldom dance or ski.
They say there never was a hero brave and strong as me.
But when you're this year's hero, son, you're next year's used-to-be.
And that's the facts of life -- when you're a winner.

Now, you remind me a lot of my younger days with your knuckles clenchin' white.
But, boy, I'm gonna sit right here and sip this beer all night.
And if there's somethin' you gotta prove by winnin' some silly fight,
Well, OK, I quit, I lose, son, you're the winner."

So I stumbled from that barroom not so tall and not so proud,
And behind me I could hear the hoots of laughter from the crowd.
But my eyes still see and my nose still works and my teeth are still in my mouth.
And y'know...I guess that makes me...a winner.

Your post was this song.

Kristofferson turning Shel Silverstein into song. What is not to love?

You lead the netcees discussion league in paragraphs written but your Lols per post and words read to words typed numbers are below the league average. Scouts think trying less and relying on your roasting abilities will increase your average and opposing posters will be forced to play press lol as opposed to cushioned tl;dr.

tl;dr

I would buy you drinks all night, then beat you to death w/ a tire iron in the parking lot

Nah philly defense style ... Hence southpaw stance ... You'd have to get me off my feet aero, real talk...

In this day and age I probably wouldn't throw a standing punch if that helps you formulate a new plan unless said jab led to a Philly style counter jab that stunned you then I'd move in for the kill or do a double leg take down and that wouldn't be good for whomever was under me

I want a real plan and execution here .. Kidney punches aren't going to work on me and my frame unless you have E.Ts reach

Just trying to help you out

Your opinion is usually valid IMHO but this wasn't created for lol purposes so right now your sounding like a salty Prick for some or reason ... This is a serious discussion topic and I'm interested in what most would do or say

I don't drink .... Should of read the first three lines Channing

@Diode sorry didn't listened just figured it was strategy

Peter Paul and Mary also turned shels vision into music

Didn't read you huggable galoot

It's list statistics and an injury report ... All for your advantage


Since when has the world become to lazy to read ?

The world iunno

Me

About 5 yrs

You get a friend pass @Victor

darce choke.

yes, please do bring it to the ground <3 <3 <3

The jab would keep you honest. If you don't plan on throwing a standing punch you're in trouble unless you could somehow grab my arm but I'm entirely too quick. Any attempts at a takedown with me will fail as you will meet a flury of fist or a knee to the head. Kidney shots will certainly work on you any body shot would no matter the flub. So the jab and kicks to create space, footwork, then if you somehow got into my space and tried to wrestle I'd wiggle free then the ground game would include head shots.

I'd kill you with kindness, Frank.

i'm 5'11 and 3/4 aka 6 ft if anyone is asking

265

fat man thuggin

i would grab you by the balls from behind and throw a flying knee into your tailbone, when joe tries to jump in i will pepper spray him and it will get lost in his jowels

than i would hopskotch on niggas faces till my ankles bad

juelz santana>eminem

See this is why I made this thread except for that last statement ... Santana is nice but to get on Ems level he would need a Nintendo power subscription, chest code book and a game genie