state your credentials
 

go

Credentialed for what?

I lost my top secret clearance when I did my time if that helps

Aus national pussy eater.
Honours:
- best squirt of 2012
- best tounge finger combo 2012

Best pair of comfortable grey socks.

Best winter beard of 2013

Best testicles.

Best sliding glass door opener/not running into it-er

I am the winner

Top secret sperm sniper. Girl get pregnant an never know wat hit em

- drinking award for mastery & excellence, 2012

- current gun reference multi world record holder

- long dick gorilla specialist 2008, 2011

- reigning & defending wall hole-punching champion

lol, who is that winner at life in ur avy

That's Cage.

Best at recognizing rappers.

- am the winner
- the winner is I

Best at shutting out Fig in Write Night championship battles.

doubt it

Fixed

mother would be proud

- #1 favorite son award, 1987-2013

- 25th inaugural balls of steel challenge winner

- northeast chicken wing champion, circa 2005

the hairiest ass

im not proud of it

I'm awaiting neigh to say 'weatherproof' lol

and @Fig I am no charlatan

Witchdoctor/shaman after clock out of MD for the day

- 33rd degree illuminati messiah wizard

- accomplished vagina sorcerer

- most consecutive references to samurai swords in an 8-hour period