The Devils Work. pt 1
 

Always heard shit in my head, sick with intent
from voices that I didn't expect, they left different effects
an image of death, a torso trimmed of its head
its vivd -intense, type of things normal kids didn't invent
I live in the depths of my own bottomless pit
where problems exist,pockets are thin
slim, where dollars and cents aren't as common as lint
hoppin the fence, stressed
hopin the grass greener when its probably dead
and I'm possibly next -been starvin for days
lost in the maze, another mouse karma contains
in this apartment of pain, dog -its insane
bouncin off the walls until my cartiledge breaks
the devil keeps calling me names -driving me nuts
time to get drunk, crunk
these homicidal thoughts aren't grimey enough
I'm do or die in the clutch, buzzed
by-standers screaming stop -as if I give a fuck
why be a punk -I go harder than nails
pale, not a part of me's frail
lost in the trails, of this fucked up life I spent part of in jail
hearts been impailed, it dripped
now its gone with the wind, stripped
And ill never love another bitch for as long as I live..


Pt 2 later.

i want you to write something out of your comfort zone.

this was dope, though

Hmmm, I accept your challenge. Elaborate, topic.. concepts, anything you'd like to read?

yes, write something with dialogue, and dont always write in stanza form. let go of rhyming and work internally instead of a suffixed type. try to define words and meaning into less sentences. elongate a little bit but make it your own. go

this was cool

Lol. As if my other style doesn't do that?
Thanks for the feed, gone

genocide i want you to rhyme meaningless phrases and words together in paragraph format

molten lava exposin drama while feeding foes piranhas lmao

anyway my dude this was dope. real life swag

i can appreciate cakester's 'comfort zone' criticism. sometimes it's just interesting and fun to see artists of all kinds try something completely new and see how they thrive under different conditions. however, in some cases (not necessarily you, all the time) people use their writing strictly as a therapeutic practice. for fun, but also for the sake of mental health. so in these cases it can be tough to suddenly adjust your approach and simply use it for something different.

i liked the line about the dead grass. because i am macabre and offbeat.

thanks man.


1

Black, you never cease to amaze me with your inputs.

My writing is probably 80% of the time therapeutic. Good catch.

Hard hitting ttransitions thats the key to your style

This was tightly woven and rough in feel. It grabbed me. I dug this shit. I'm not familiar with any of your stuff so its fresh to me. i'mma look up ur older stuff. props.