Originally Posted by Wise Wiggles (Post 850743)

Hello.. been a while..

How's your coping working? I guess it won't be perfect
Love the kiss of death like holding serpents
Body langauge is just arranging the bones in cursive
Spelling out secrets of the soul.. if you only heard it
flow is cool but a little choppy. seems like you're more having fun with the rhymes than pushing a theme but i like the serpents/bones in cursive imagery
Always write on borrowed time, not even cronus owns the verses
Simmering constant. Humbling river within the honor
Cycling through spirals like spinning mandalas
Tangling scars into hearts, it's in the armor
rhyming is off here to me, but like cronus reference. the rest is cool but feels like its jumping around a lot. starting to look for connections and not really finding them.
How many seconds on a clock? We ain't got much time
I blamed everyone else but I forgot what's mine
How much that soul worth? Under where the crow's perch
There is no birth.. no death
Journey within to where it glows best
don't love this bit. feels a little random.
Chant of names.. who's mentioning you?
The drop? Midsommar when you're seventy two
Just need a break so my heart can breathe
What you pay attention to always costs the largest fee
like the last bar here. wish you stayed with some of this concepts a little longer before moving on.
Arm and a leg, skin off my back's what I'm offering
Blood eagle apologies, I'm taking bets
Laid to rest? I still conversate with the dead
Or maybe I'm caught in disassociation's net
not feeling this section. rhymes are a little shaky and verse feels incoherent. you're still riding a flow but I have no idea what you're talking about for the most part.
Playing make believe to murder the sadness
Healing's crazy.. feels like an allergic reaction
Curbing my madness so I don't bust earth into fragments
Careful what you wish for, this the curse of alladin
this is pretty dope. nice rhymes and like the curse of Aladdin punchline
I swear it's an ancient disease
Just want the good old days back, I fall awake and they leave
But there ain't no fucking brakes, they going on full cylinders
Playing for keeps.. taking no prisoners
this is nice also. flow is continuing with some energy and the concepts here are well connected
It's a class issue? How severe is the lesson
Throwing stars in the sky, miracle essence
Life an escape room, most have a fear of the exit
But it's a funhouse. Goes forever like mirroring perspectives
this is cool. still jumping around a bit but throwing in some cool philosophical ideas. from the title, i assume this is intended as the pivotal section
And I've slayed this demon a million times
Still in denial.. rolling like a motherfucking swivel eyes
Civilization of concepts building tonight
rhyming is cool but don't love the wording. felt like you were building up some steam with the sections coming into this, but it kind of trailed off
Siloqoey dive. Oh my lord. Mercy. Forgiveness
Teasing you. Edging you. Surfing the finish
Echoing every blunder you heard in the distance
Would you die for it? Is it worthy of interest?
You willing to change? Pay the surgeon a visit
Daymare Stockholm Syndrome- the dirtiest djinn trick
nice tie back to the Aladdin line and cool multis to close out the verse. would have loved to see more of a pay off at the end, but this feels more like a verse where you're just flexing with the rhymes more than anything narratively