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deadman: who are you really?
i've got an hour or so
to make a mountain of gold sour lips to sweet nothings. we've empowered our own insecurities with solitude and cowardice, only together for moment while we shower and soak powder trips, mouth music. spraying Shout on upholstery while we shout at each other. then go about it alone yesterday i watched you picking flowers to throw on Gabriel's grave. orchids, poppy and rose so carefully, you only chose the prettiest blooms as if he was alive to see whatever we used it was beautiful. i loved you in that moment, in full your faith / your god / your passion, its invulnerable while i live inside of disbelief and body and mind D'evils take me down a notch one thought at a time your power is unshakable. my life is a joke money / motive / makers mark and lighters and smoke guide me back to empathy, i'm searching for hope skipped past all methodology and learned the results burdened by my appetite for women and power starved for affection. fasting intermittently now stand outside myself and feed this energy cloud we live and die and in-between we figure it out. thats all i've ever stood behind rhyme & rhythm wunderkind mapping out reality in font selections underlined how'd i ever get this far? regressive traits: the webinar copy/paste my catalogue - dead already if you've read it all Dragon's flame my weapon art sword ablaze and swinging hard slash into your skull before you get a chance to pick a card half gorilla Minotaur, shorting circuits system off now that the room is dark and quiet: tell me who you really are dm |
I'm dead already.
This is one of my favorites of your recent oeuvre. |
I'm dead already.
This is one of my favorites of your recent oeuvre. |
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But loved reading this in its entirety |
Flows smooth. Beautiful.
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Sucked idiyote
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This was startling. If I'm missing something please correct me but this error really threw me off. I would be critical of this even if the writer didn't speak English as their first language so it would be hypocritical of me not to call it out when a brilliant writer like yourself does it. This is so basic it genuinely shocked me. Moving past that, there aren't many superlatives I haven't used for your work. You only chose the prettiest blooms As if he were alive to see whatever we used You have an ability to translate thoughts into words that is incredibly rare. I've spent a lot of time wishing I had the ability to take an abstract thought and put it into words like you can. Sometimes I do, most of the time what I write doesn't do justice to the thought. It's no secret how much I adore your work. You're the best and it isn't close. If you're selling it, I'll buy it. If you're not, you should be. |
we live and die and in-between we figure it out.
thats all i've ever stood behind rhyme & rhythm wunderkind mapping out reality in font selections underlined This was really really good. It's very humble and addresses one of humanity's most innate desires. To be accepted. Perhaps I'm wrong but that's how I read it. The first line is something I've had in the background of my mind for a while. As a kid I thought adults knew everything. My son will be 8 in a few weeks and I'm sure he thinks I have it all figured out. I don't. I'm winging it every day and just trying my best and so were my parents. It's comforting to know we're all just a bunch of dumb fucks who have no idea what's going on. |
Hey thanks for your kind words witness. Happy early 8th to your boy.
Typo is just a typo, it was a late night lol |
"You only chose the prettiest blooms, as if he were alive to see what we used". That melted me. very beautiful!
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i've got an hour or so
to make a mountain of gold Loving the intro, so simple yet adds on to the atmosphere of what kind of piece it'll be from the title. That's some real good shit right there for me. guide me back to empathy, i'm searching for hope ^This was poignant as well. And the closure hits as well. Loved the read despite its rather dark and melancholic depressive state, beautiful write up. Hope this isn't as personal as it seems, and if it is you're able to put your struggles to paper in a captivating, thought provoking and emotional way that doesn't come off as someone feeling sorry for themselves, it just is what it is with thought and contemplation attached |
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Everyone is winging it, from ourselves, to parents to governments with an idea and concept we just ain't mentally and physically prepared to do. We're used to contributing to a tribe, sure, just not to this degree evolutionary yet, haha. Makes sense we're all kinda fucked (at least the majority of us) despite having the intelligence and know how's on not to when the current situation is as chaotic as it is. |
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None of us are perfect. I hope you're well brother. |
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The moment I realised that the vast majority of adults were completely winging it just like I am was extremely significant and comforting to me. I didn't stress as much and enjoyed fatherhood more. |
That makes me happy to hear, @Witty. Same for me, just not in terms of fatherhood etc., just life and responsibilities in general. It balances out in the end for everyone, those that are perfect on all fronts is a reason for me to wonder why the main issues are hidden and whoi they truly are, haha. Some people just are wired that way tho, and are good responsible humans through and through that only seem to slip up on extremely mundane shit. So, respect to them, but they're definitely a huge minority in the society we have today.
Have a good one, great to hear you've accepted we're all fucking flawed in one way or the other and that it accounts for you as well without any unnecessary pressure attached, haha |
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"guide me back to empathy, i'm searching for hope
skipped past all methodology and learned the results burdened by my appetite for women and power starved for affection. fasting intermittently now stand outside myself and feed this energy cloud we live and die and in-between we figure it out." Top notch. |
so carefully, you only chose the prettiest blooms
as if he was alive to see whatever we used ^Good visual indicators here to paint a picture (which you’ve always excelled at) and the last line really says a lot about how we process loss. You’re great at finding those little phrases that create an impact in a few words. My favorite example of that in this piece is this line though: your power is unshakable. my life is a joke ^i can’t explain why exactly I love this in words (which is ironic since we’re all writers). But a line like this is what separates good or mediocre writers from great ones, they can say all they need to in as few words as possible. And without a doubt you are a great writer. One of the best I’ve seen, in fact. Glad to see you’re still around and well, old friend. We may have to finally have that collab one of these days. |
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