Gargle Barbells
 

It's habit to flabbergast the masses with raps I craft.
Hazardous HAZMAT tags strapped to the pads I've had.
Ain't flattered by platinum plaques. I'm packing the plaidest slacks.
Carl Spackler, bagging ass in the caddy shack.
I don't rap on acid... but I'm acid rap.
Never had a blow-up doll. I used my Cabbage Patch.
Where the Magnum's at? Ah, fuck it. I'm hard as hell, bitch.
If she gets pregnant, I'll reject it; Garbage Pail Kids.
Villainous rep. Crept out the village of dead and said,
'I'm Bill and he's Ted.' 'cept I was really and just
being silly. Filled up my head with these pills, and the rest
are spilling on the ceiling and I'm reeling 'em in.
I ain't feeling. Ingest what I inject 'til I'm peeling my skin.
Healing what's concealed in the illness of breath.
YES. Willing my death. On the step holding a machete and nine.
Listening to Suicidal Thoughts 'cause I'm lost and I'm ready to die.

Cabbage patch and garbage pail kids shit was lol

Dope drop dull. Flow was nuts

gawd

"Filled up my head with these pills, and the rest
are spilling on the ceiling and I'm reeling 'em in.
I ain't feeling. Ingest what I inject 'til I'm peeling my skin.
Healing what's concealed in the illness of breath.
YES. Willing my death."

That was up to your usual top top tier writing.

I thought the beginning wasn't as original or technically awe-inspiring as you usually write.

I liked this a lot, but I'm going to pick it apart and be harsh and shit because I'm a negative person.

This read ridiculously smooth. The rhymes and assonance were unending. The level of skill required to execute this is high. It didn't really say much, but it brought us into the concept of your ability in the form.

These were, by far, the weakest lines of the verse. The Caddy Shack invocation might have worked better if you had done something beyond a name drop and the the name of the movie, but it wasn't clever. It wasn't on the pop-culture drop level of:

That was just hilarious and nasty and had an Eminem-in-1998 vibe to it. The use of a line between the second half of the reference really made it pop because I wasn't expecting the Garbage Pail Kids mention until I got to it.

Here you return to your rhyme-heavy flexing. This was cool, though the "really and just being silly" was forced.

This was the only point in the verse where it really felt like you had connected your top mechanics and top content. This was great.

This was a bit of a cliche to end on. It felt too much like a closing line without offering any real closure to the verse as a whole. It was more generic than the rest.

this started off dope. It seemed like you slacked off towards the end a little. A dope flex piece overall. You are indwelled with a demon obv.

Ain't flattered by platinum plaques. I'm packing the plaidest slacks.
Carl Spackler, bagging ass in the caddy shack.
I don't rap on acid... but I'm acid rap.
Never had a blow-up doll. I used my Cabbage Patch.
Where the Magnum's at? Ah, fuck it. I'm hard as hell, bitch.
If she gets pregnant, I'll reject it; Garbage Pail Kids.
Villainous rep. Crept out the village of dead and said,
'I'm Bill and he's Ted.' 'cept I was really and just
being silly. Filled up my head with these pills, and the rest

^ ridiculous

sick nasty. i almost wish u dropped this in paragraph format again.. for ur style of flow i find it almost works better cause u really blur the lines between where the rhyme starts and stops. also ive had a few beers so i think i just realized this as i am typing but you and your particular style have definitely influenced me. i had never ever written paragraph style before and i been fuckin with rhyming for a long time, then i saw a few people doing it, and in particular you specifically killing it, and i really grew to like it. it just takes the boundaries off rhyming.. and i always appreciated the fuck out of how u schemed ur shit man.. and it made me want to try it..and push the limits of it, so yeah i guess thanks hahahah. dope

The people around here are so conditioned to view blocks of text in a negative light that they're blind to the benefits. When you drop down with each line it allows people to break your verse into tiny segments, and then verses become nothing but one liners. When I wrote a lot, I liked to have themes carry for multiple lines and even entire verses. Paragraph makes the reader view your verse as a whole. Like you said, it also unbinds you from the simple schemes generally used when people drop down. If you listen to any rapper, they don't finish their bars at the same point in the loop every time. That would get repetitive. Glad I was able to convert you lol

Thanks for saying that. I know a lot of people wouldn't have.

I concur.

Garbage Pail kids was funny and reminiscent.. the were cards weren't they
reminds me of golden days Mad Magazine Al Joffee shit.

2 and a half years ago.

Yeah wow. Not your best by any means but it's cool that everybody that commented is still here for the most part.

Do more

needs more rhyming

4 years ago.

Yeah wow. Not your best by any means but it's cool that everybody that commented is still here for the most part.

Do more

com back miss u?

always enjoy reading a dull boy drop

commenting for the sake of posterity alone.

7 years ago

Yeah wow. Not your best by any means but it's cool that everybody that commented is still here for the most part.

Do more