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-   -   Saint vs Adverse - SAINT WINS (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=150615)

Sharp 06-27-2022 07:52 PM

Saint vs Adverse - SAINT WINS
 
Netcees SOL Season II
Week 1


Due Thursday, Jun 30th

Minimum - 8 lines
Max - 12 lines
24hr ext given on request

NO biting
NO swaying
NO feeding
You MUST check in
Don't edit after your opponent has posted
2nd person to post can't edit after the first vote comes in
Don't be an idiot
Don't use your opponent's pic unless it's a pic battle
Agree on a line limit
May God have mercy on your souls

@Saint @Adverse

Adverse 06-27-2022 10:04 PM

Let’s do it

12?

Saint 06-28-2022 03:00 PM

10 for me

Adverse 06-30-2022 05:55 PM

Well fuck it,

These bullets blow your ass to smithereens, not heeding any calls for peace
Predictions say it’s All Saints Day, tell that to whatever pieces that the Hallows Eve
Sharp’s voice - cuz when I go live with that mag it’ll blow you away
Family affair, auto tear your babies up like I ain’t heard of Roe v Wade
Overstuffed confusing bars to compensate for the fact what he’s spittin is average
Audience guaranteed to see old dude soar over their head like they bought tickets to Maverick
Maybe my NBL run was a fluke, but when’s the last time you seen a final four?
Probably after the meteor hit and you were one of the last living dinosaurs
You on the road to the championship, I pull up beside you and peel clips
He be peeling too...the feds pulling Saint off the seat like Will Smith

Saint 06-30-2022 10:01 PM

Your girl i'm seeing

Told me you're a small text guy. & shown the breakup while streaming
Talk about a 'Pinch to Zoom': She's upscale, had me grab her ass in the live meeting
Goes down astounding; likes it rough beggin 'hit me in the mouth please'
Jesus!....Way she lick balls before the strike rivals John Turturro in Big Lebowski
I went deeep in her private area. Smashed til it black & sore
Finally saw eye to eye when i slid in right.. u'd think i’d need a password at the door
Fatty. Your idea of Ranch Hand is dip without chips clown
Ad a Binge-eater. That face a Porcine after a loss cuz we see a Pig Out
U backmasking up!? Speak of the Devil- punches NEVER sway me
'Verse plays are so backwards he sends mixed messages like metal records in the 80s

Dominate 07-01-2022 09:51 AM

These bullets blow your ass to smithereens, not heeding any calls for peace
Predictions say it’s All Saints Day, tell that to whatever pieces that the Hallows Eve
All Saints Day was a good name flip concept but either the flip was quite bad or I didn't get it - was it supposed to be 'whatever pieces that the hollows leave'?
Sharp’s voice - cuz when I go live with that mag it’ll blow you away
Family affair, auto tear your babies up like I ain’t heard of Roe v Wade
OK current event line
Overstuffed confusing bars to compensate for the fact what he’s spittin is average
Audience guaranteed to see old dude soar over their head like they bought tickets to Maverick
BLAOW. Nice one Addy. Solid personal punch + current event flip + good delivery. Good line.
Maybe my NBL run was a fluke, but when’s the last time you seen a final four?
Probably after the meteor hit and you were one of the last living dinosaurs
Ehhhh. I like the personal angle and tone in the set up, the second line didn't move me
You on the road to the championship, I pull up beside you and peel clips
He be peeling too...the feds pulling Saint off the seat like Will Smith
OK punch/nameflip. Had to google the reference.



Told me you're a small text guy. & shown the breakup while streaming
Talk about a 'Pinch to Zoom': She's upscale, had me grab her ass in the live meeting
It's a cool wp idea but you as the writer had to work too hard to make it work and I as the reader had to work too hard to understand it
Goes down astounding; likes it rough beggin 'hit me in the mouth please'
Jesus!....Way she lick balls before the strike rivals John Turturro in Big Lebowski
LOL. Watched this semi recently. This is pretty good.
I went deeep in her private area. Smashed til it black & sore
Finally saw eye to eye when i slid in right.. u'd think i’d need a password at the door
private area/need a password OK OK. Saw eye to eye when I slid right in - ?? I've tried for more than a couple mins to puzzle it out and I don't get it.
Fatty. Your idea of Ranch Hand is dip without chips clown
Ad a Binge-eater. That face a Porcine after a loss cuz we see a Pig Out
Describing someone's face as a "poor scene" is weird. The rest of it works well.
U backmasking up!? Speak of the Devil- punches NEVER sway me
'Verse plays are so backwards he sends mixed messages like metal records in the 80s
The 'verse plays backwards'/devil wp concept was dope. "he sends mixed messages" is not much of a punch though.



Adverse had the LOTB, next best was Saint's Big Lebowski line. Besides that it's pretty much Adverse having simple/OKish concepts that were delivered well enough vs Saint having better and more creative ideas but with flaws in the execution. It's pretty close in that sense and will prob just come down to voter preference. Adverse's Maverick line was made stronger by the fact that 2 out of 5 of Saint's bars were too convoluted for me here lol... I think for that reason I'm gonna edge this to him.

V/ Adverse

UserName 07-02-2022 12:31 AM

cool match guys

Ad:

Overstuffed confusing bars to compensate for the fact what he’s spittin is average
Audience guaranteed to see old dude soar over their head like they bought tickets to Maverick

haha, enjoyed that. didnt get the hallows eve or will smith line? dm me, maybe im dumb?

Saint:

Goes down astounding; likes it rough beggin 'hit me in the mouth please'
Jesus!....Way she lick balls before the strike rivals John Turturro in Big Lebowski

LOTB probably - i got the reference, and the imagery was funny lol

U backmasking up!? Speak of the Devil- punches NEVER sway me
'Verse plays are so backwards he sends mixed messages like metal records in the 80s

this was cool too - a little wordy, but i liked the tie in with the setup.

V/ Saint by a smidge

Sharp 07-03-2022 01:07 PM

These bullets blow your ass to smithereens, not heeding any calls for peace
Predictions say it’s All Saints Day, tell that to whatever pieces that the Hallows Eve
really cool idea but Hallows Eve/Leave doesn't work for me, and the fact that I'm scratching my head going 'leave? Sieve? See?' tells me this doesn't do it for me. Low key props to Inf in rotating the aka for stuff like this
Sharp’s voice - cuz when I go live with that mag it’ll blow you away
Family affair, auto tear your babies up like I ain’t heard of Roe v Wade
both punches are solid but a little basic. This definitely hits, but would've liked to see you try to flesh them out more fully with their own setups. Setup was better than the punch imo, and that takes away from the punchline
Overstuffed confusing bars to compensate for the fact what he’s spittin is average
Audience guaranteed to see old dude soar over their head like they bought tickets to Maverick
lmao. Nice
Maybe my NBL run was a fluke, but when’s the last time you seen a final four?
Probably after the meteor hit and you were one of the last living dinosaurs
cool idea but the wording is awkward
You on the road to the championship, I pull up beside you and peel clips
He be peeling too...the feds pulling Saint off the seat like Will Smith
two small gripes. I had to google this one because I assumed it was will Smith the actor, even though you made it obvious in the setup that's an old reference. Also, changing from second to third person between the setup and punchline can get distracting or make it convoluted (didn't happen here but generally good to watch out for). Still works. Losing a lot of impact for me on second read tbh




Told me you're a small text guy. & shown the breakup while streaming
Talk about a 'Pinch to Zoom': She's upscale, had me grab her ass in the live meeting
there's a lot going on here and it just makes it feel convoluted by the third read
Goes down astounding; likes it rough beggin 'hit me in the mouth please'
Jesus!....Way she lick balls before the strike rivals John Turturro in Big Lebowski
lmao. I fuck with it
I went deeep in her private area. Smashed til it black & sore
Finally saw eye to eye when i slid in right.. u'd think i’d need a password at the door
I feel like I get this but also like I don't get this
Fatty. Your idea of Ranch Hand is dip without chips clown
Ad a Binge-eater. That face a Porcine after a loss cuz we see a Pig Out
had to google the pronunciation and got 'poor sign'. Poor sign after a loss is weird to me

Just read Doms vote. It's poor scene? It works on a technical level but the idea is hard to find dope

U backmasking up!? Speak of the Devil- punches NEVER sway me
'Verse plays are so backwards he sends mixed messages like metal records in the 80s
this is a great concept, execution is solid, but you're kinda infamous for having harder to understand bars

I'm going to reread this later cause it's really close to me. Ad more consistent, Inf hit harder.


EDIT: Ad I have the gunbars and maverick. Inf I have the lebowski and closer. Will Smith and porcine kinda cancel each other out for me as bars that were good in a technical sense but conceptually DOA. Shits a real toss up but I have Inf with slightly stronger hits. Good battle, close, honestly expecting this takes forever to close so fuck you guys for that

Jk <3

V/Inf by a nose

Cred 07-04-2022 10:52 AM

Sharp’s voice - cuz when I go live with that mag it’ll blow you away
Family affair, auto tear your babies up like I ain’t heard of Roe v Wade
Overstuffed confusing bars to compensate for the fact what he’s spittin is average
Audience guaranteed to see old dude soar over their head like they bought tickets to Maverick

vs

Goes down astounding; likes it rough beggin 'hit me in the mouth please'
Jesus!....Way she lick balls before the strike rivals John Turturro in Big Lebowski

Other than that bar Inf didn't really bring anything else up to par. I got Ad barely edging another close one.

Vote - Adverse

dull boy 07-04-2022 12:16 PM

Inf won

Vote - Inf

Sharp 07-04-2022 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dull boy (Post 822228)
Inf won

Vote - Inf

I can't count this without at least a tiny explanation

White LGI 07-04-2022 12:41 PM

Vote Saint.

I think both were pretty good, not nearly as good as rod tha text god...but both were good, I just thought saint was aittle more clever and more consistent throughout the verse

I did like adverse opener though

evaD 07-04-2022 12:59 PM

These bullets blow your ass to smithereens, not heeding any calls for peace
Predictions say it’s All Saints Day, tell that to whatever pieces that the Hallows Eve
Had to think about this for far too long to be sure you were going for hollows leave. Still not sure tbh. Good effort tho
Sharp’s voice - cuz when I go live with that mag it’ll blow you away
Family affair, auto tear your babies up like I ain’t heard of Roe v Wade
I guess everyone had one of these this week. Wording kindve doesn’t make sense?
Overstuffed confusing bars to compensate for the fact what he’s spittin is average
Audience guaranteed to see old dude soar over their head like they bought tickets to Maverick
Nice
NBL run was a fluke, but when’s the last time you seen a final four?
Probably after the meteor hit and you were one of the last living dinosaurs
This isn’t it
You on the road to the championship, I pull up beside you and peel clips
He be peeling too...the feds pulling Saint off the seat like Will Smith
Don’t get the reference and Google isn’t helping, repetition on peel/pull makes it clunky too


our girl i'm seeing

Told me you're a small text guy. & shown the breakup while streaming
Talk about a 'Pinch to Zoom': She's upscale, had me grab her ass in the live meeting
Cool but kindve awkward
Goes down astounding; likes it rough beggin 'hit me in the mouth please'
Jesus!....Way she lick balls before the strike rivals John Turturro in Big Lebowski
Nice
I went deeep in her private area. Smashed til it black & sore
Finally saw eye to eye when i slid in right.. u'd think i’d need a password at the door
Don’t like
Fatty. Your idea of Ranch Hand is dip without chips clown
Ad a Binge-eater. That face a Porcine after a loss cuz we see a Pig Out
Creative but not overly amazing
U backmasking up!? Speak of the Devil- punches NEVER sway me
'Verse plays are so backwards he sends mixed messages like metal records in the 80s
Another cool concept kinda left field


I’ve definitely read better from both of you but I think saint just about takes this

V/ saint

Adverse 07-04-2022 01:53 PM

Let’s get on with the next week I’ll take the L

Good battle @Saint


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