WEEK TEN: ADVERSE (2-3) VS NYCSPITZ (4-1) ADVERSE WINS 5-0
 

http://i.imgur.com/uAJesXX.png

AOWL Season X WEEK TEN
@Pharaohs Army @NYCSPITZ


Verse Due: THURSDAY JUNE 16TH @ 11:59 PM

Line min: 10

Max: 40


Rules: http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=150311

Topic:
https://i.ibb.co/QcQXKnm/A4-C2-B88-D...13-E8-D2-C.jpg






GOOD LUCK

Ext have had 0 time I’ll try tomorrow night

Same bro

Death of Innocense

https://i.ibb.co/QcQXKnm/A4-C2-B88-D...13-E8-D2-C.jpg

Are humans inherently good or evil? Is it coded in our genetics?
Or is there some kind of an on/off switch that we hold in our possession
Is there some form of deity by whom we’re chosen all our settings
Or is it the trauma we endure that molds all our perceptions?
Little Susie used to escape in the books, pressed her heart between the pages
Opted out of the gloom real world in favor for a world of amazement
So I don’t know what the surprise was, why the community collectively gasped
When one day she left into her fantasy world, and never came back...

I hope she’s dwelling in a fairy tale
Stuck in suspension with the other creatures on eternity’s carousel
Hopefully she’s taking care of herself
As she watches the world burn from the top of the Ferris wheel
I hope this finds her well
The story she could never write so it wrote itself

Her vessel is now a hallow shell..
Nothing but decaying flesh to see and eternal rot to smell
Pops five xannies a day, she’s craving more and more medicine
Combat boots strapped symbolize the fact she’s in a war she’ll never win
Buried in the darkness, trying to pick up the broken bits of her sanity
Hard to feel your way through the blackness, eclipsed in the long shadow of tragedy

Daddy was a ritualistic boozer, habitual absuser
After a couple sips of brew his fists were sent to come and bruise her
Mama interfered and took the brunt of the hits and contusions
Split lip, Mom hits the floor, Daddy doesn’t heed little Susan
“STOP DADDY PLEASE” she yelled as the tears welled in her eyes
“STOP DADDY PLEEEEEAASE!” But he wouldn’t say die
He’s gunning for her head there’s not a strike he would hold
As Mommy’s beat into a bloody, unrecognizable pulp
Susie panics, then remembers the gun Daddy kept in his nightstand
She cocks it like Daddy taught her, in case she ever encountered a bad man
She walks up to him, points the barrel point blank at his ballcap
“I’m sorry Daddy” she whimpers, as she coaxes the trigger back
His body slumps and it falls, the furniture behind him painted with blood and gore
She stares down at Mommy clad with blood and marred, laid on the hardwood floor
Sobbing she grabs the phone and dials 911, comforting her mangled body
Later that night, she’d succumb to her wounds while Susie slept in the hospital lobby

Now she’s 15 hoping from one foster home to the next, she lost everything that day
Both her parents but most of all, that same bullet ricocheted
And caught that little bystander girl, her pretty dress was seeped with blood
She lost part of herself that day, tried to hide but no book was ever deep enough

Death of innocence

I’m a real bitch - just 14 but I walked through a book
Trippy like agent orange. gangster like stalking a crook
Facing my fears like mood swings and period blood
joined a gang. Your life’s ending in a period, blood.
It’s almost as if my little sister tortures me with porcelain skin
Could never tell whether that cunt was a whore or a jinn…
Walking through that door, it’s as if my hormones surged to the sky
I drank my own period blood: it murdered my vibe

- homage : @Candy / @Cerealkilla

Lol!!! NYC's verse was definitely a better verse than Sin's attempt. I could tell NYC probably only had perhaps 15 min or least to jot a verse...it was pretty sick...cause I can taste the nasty blood in my mouth you filthy dog you! Adverse loved your verse bro, dope flow throughout, madd visual, it a bit jolting when the fantasy took a turn as though it written at a different time or mind state but I recognize the relation to the transition. Really nice work bro...better than the other verse I voted on awhile back. Quotable, "Her vessel is now a hallow shell..
Nothing but decaying flesh to see and eternal rot to smell" Bro...that's the sauce right there...Adverse got this.

Mvgt - Adverse

Strong viceral straight to the point lyricism strong showing for Adverse , lol @ nycz troll post i think adverse thought this was gonna be more serious then it was.

I almost want to troll vote for adverse, but he basically won via no show here, love the opening about the on/off switch, you definately did enough to win and thought your opponent would be wanting to redeem himself from last week, get your win!

TOTAL SCORE
 

adverse

voice 5/5
diction 2/5
imagery 2/5
figures of speech 1/5
symbolism and allegory 2/5
syntax 2/5
sound 4/5
rhythm and meter 3/5
structure 3/5

nycspitz

voice 4/51
diction 14.5/5
imagery 14/5
figures of speech 41/5
symbolism and allegory 14/5
syntax 14/55
sound 550/4555
rhythm and meter 0.55/4059
structure 0.55/5

MVGT =
________________
ADDVERSE

Adverse first 4 lines were the best. Your story and concept was one thats been done and spun a hundred and one times. All good though, it was enjoyable. Id rather listen marshalls first album though.

Nyc came correct. Votw. Period blood forever

V. Adversity