WEEK NINE CHAMP MATCH: NYCSPITZ (4-0) vs EVICTION (6-1) EVICTION WINS 4-0
 

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AOWL Season X WEEK NINE

@Eviction @NYCSPITZ


Verse Due: SUNDAY JUNE 5TH @ 11:59 PM

Line min: 10

Max: 60


Rules: http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=150311

Topic:

https://i.ibb.co/LrKv17s/B2-B50291-B...64-FD0-BBC.jpg



GOOD LUCK

I wish I was indestructible, withstanding lengths they usually take to inflict pain.
It would be insufferable to show my life through a camera lens or picture frame
I have never been photogenic, they run from a pile of my headshots like it’s a pit of snakes.
Leaving with a bitter taste in their mouth, when they tried to unlock this lizard brain.
Being forced to look through this dissaray was punishment for when they misbehave.
A trenchant from this visual aid is a risk you take, so think twice before you disobey,
When mental states bend and break, the only thing you're left with is perennial distrust.
It’s cringe when they’re defending their lust, I just wanted to see millennials in cuffs.
Instead of battling my own demon, an undesirable agony when pretending to adjust,
To the venom in the blood, I only wish it was symmetrical when sending them my love.
If there was a receipt, it was fraudulent, I faced the same leeches digging in the mud,
When vision was corrupt. There’s dirt on my hands, without it I’m forbidden to touch,
You either overdress for the occasion or lay in self-pity, reflecting what’s black and white.
Accepting the facts of life, that if you live in paradise it’s a sin neglecting a sacrifice.
The crows will be there to catch me when I fall, is that what you classify a parasite?
What I agonize over is the trap of lies, and all the bad vibes when I lose my appetite,
To the point mold grows on the apple pie, it looks disgusting but you just have to try…
That’s why pharmaceutical companies capitalize, using emotional crises to advertise.
They only see a woman scorned, that chose to soar, she’s like medicine for the snake pit.
You can track the devil from blood engraved footprints, you can let hell exist in traces,
But believing an honest man? You would rather write him off and see elements of a sadist.
A skeleton that is wasted. Jewelry to heal like there’s nothing more elegant than a bracelet.
These qualities are a propellant, from materialism to your facelift, your regiment is too basic.
A ratchet rebellion that plays the victim, she’s probably gathering evidence for a rape kit.
We see a silhouette of a delusional woman, over a pyre of wood before they light the match.
She’s in her own fantasy world, and probably envisions doves carrying her to the righteous path.
She probably hopes the ride will last, before the reaper comes she’s plotting her final wrath.
You thought she was quite the catch, but her venom is more poisonous than a diamondback.
We’ll use her as bonfire Kendal because there’s no briar patch when dealing with a psychopath.
She ain't worth the mileage we’ll put on the coroner van, plus have you seen the price of gas?

She was a lady of the night, a friend of the canyon’ it’s a memory we got to get rid of later.
Condemned because we had to breathe her ambiance, it was like living in an incinerator.
She’s a widowmaker, responsible for her husband's demise, it’s too hard to read the story,
When every scene is gory, I tried to burn her but I’m the one that ended up in the crematory.
There she was soaring with the eagles, while denying our comfort, we had to lay in misery.
Until she was disfigured, or it was one of those vague memories then we claim the victory.
We learned that it was too soon to triumph, our win is her best opportunity to plot the worse.
Burning her was an awful curse’ it would be an insurance policy if we could watch the Hearst,
During the last ride, then we can douse it in gasoline before the entry point over a hot wire.
Her actions were known to affect others, eventually, the chauffeur got caught in the crossfire.
If you heard this tale before, that’s because the nightmare’s recurring, and the truth is waiting.
There’s room for hating, so they assumed the silhouette was an apparition or a hallucination.
When it’s so real I knew how the mucus tasted, I’m still recovering from that “invisible fall”.
The fake pain from your vicious assault, I hit a brick wall because she was quick on the draw.
If cancer kills her first I’m not losing sleep, I’ll reap the rewards and let the reaper do the deed.
Death was a feature of mutiny, the punishment was outlined when I got to deliver her eulogy.
You see how quick it turned into a roast, what I did to her character was a catastrophe.
In the end, what was the casualty? This is taking the trash out, everything else is blasphemy.
This was poetic justice, her facing the undertaker after we knew what she was capable of.
She prepared bodies, had that taste for blood, and still got to take a trip to her place in the sun.
The doubters want this to end, they would rather be near the windowpane when glass shatters,
Instead of hearing this sob story, looking forward to my last ride, but is that the last chapter?

.
.
.
.


Grey Goose, straight up. Dirty with nerves & her pride
held back by onyx strings as she swerves to the light
Funhouse sign: neon “SCHADENFREUDE” - merge with the fight
of fleeting impulses like lightning bugs dispersed in the night…
Or birds in your mental. Ornithologist to further my might
eat away at me, I’m Prometheus. She’s murder in bites.
Finally learning sight, mid-career in a reality loop
at lunch with her friends drinking denial & vanity soup
lowbrow-new age-egocentric, scream your ballad in groups
psycho-schizo, egregore prime - the malady’s loose.
autonomous psyche fracture storm; rally the troops
sauntering from work to deflation to tavern & noose
strychnine on the rocks. Con hielo, memory melt
Ego regression…it’s pedal to the metal for Self.
Casting shadows on her pride. Suck on an ice chip eclipse
she found her truth, skateboarding on a mobius strip.
Snow capped vistas, ski it down if you’re lost at a peak
impulsive jungle cat.
Haphazardly running fingers through the moss of your sheets
Prozac dust her ramen bowl, judeo-christian lazarus ken
It’s never a matter of why
just a matter of when…
Social butterfly, flapping wings where a fortunate breeze blows
Export pain, import the shift to your ego
Life force symphonies gifted at random. listen to your beat flow.
or maybe a reason’s there -
Etched as a riddle somewhere inside of your meatbones
buried under arrogance & its tension with pride
it’s been awhile since I’ve even given attention to lies.
or mention to truth. Everything’s coming out in the wash
It’s only been a single second, dog, yet mountains have crossed
And oceans have moved - make it a fiesta or make it a bust
wading through ambiguity to understanding, maintenance, trust…
I guess all that’s left to do is


Feel her pain and adjust.





………

Eviction - As much as your whining annoys me you cant be denied as one of this season's top writers or damn near close to it in my opinion this is another great written full of imagery reflection and lyricism..my only criticism is that you'r rhyme schemes are repetitive and you tend not delve into different aspects of storytelling ... but if its not ''Broken'' don't fix it (pun intended)..your style has been getting you W's and works for you , I personally enjoy it..


Nycspitz - Close to a tie tbh but since you blessed this forum with so many masterpieces this season im holding you to a higher tier , this felt rushed and while its shows your mastery as a man poet lyrically i think evictions tenacity and overall workload paid off this round


MVGT- Eviction

Tough battle to vote on

Evictions piece was too long and NYCs was too short. Eviction seemed like he tried too hard and NYC seemed like he didn’t try hard enough.

Eviction- the first half of the verse was much better than the second. This feed may annoy you but when I read your stuff I feel like I’m reading a verse written by someone that has studied topicals and is now emulating it. It all feels very clinical. And robotic. I’d like to see you write with more emotion. And more style. You use a lot of lines and a lot of words to say very little. Its a lot of filler. Im saying these things for you to use as constructive criticism so take it for what it’s worth. All that being said , your rhymes and flow are good. And you were working towards the topic.

NYC- this wasn’t your best piece. I think you figured that you could just out rhyme your opponent with superior flow, multis and verbiage to glide to the win. The lack of effort showed because your take on the topic was flimsy at best. For a champ match you have to come harder. As you know.

Very close. But I’m going to give it to Eviction based on effort. And while I don’t think he nailed the topic I think his verse was at least working towards it more than NYCs. Length also played a role

Mvgt- Eviction



Just wanted to add that I did enjoy both pieces , just that I’ve read both three times so the negative stood out more than the positive at that point.

Nyc obvious keystyle, maybe half and half? Meatbones lol. Pretty cool verse nonetheless i enjoyee it, i just couldnt find any real type of meaning in regards to the topic. Wish you wouldve brought it all here.

Eviction has not been evicted for the belt here. Solid writing for the most part. A couple of bars couldve been scrapped or rewritten but its all good every verse, even the greatest of them all have a few dings. The ending was pretty wack tbh.

V. E for effort.

Very interesting champ match here

I've finally read both multiple times

First off, I'd just like to say, in both these pieces the content, creativity, and technicality trails off at the end. Which is a shame cuz they are so damn good to begin.

That being said, I've got Eviction for the /W Here.

This guy looks like a beast. Sorry, been busy this season and this is only the second thing I read from Eviction. And both were good. By Beast I mean rhyme scheme, flow, etc. GRANTED, he does have some empty lines where he could do this content in probably 3/4- 1/2 of the length. Some filler and rhyming for sake of rhyming. That being said, one of the best rhymers on the active netcee scene. Just from 2 pieces.

The content of the first long stanza kept me engaged. Good imagery, flow, etc.
I'm not saying the second stanza and ending was BAD, it just didn't pack that same technical and content punch as the first goody.
Still, dope my man.

WE MUST NEVER OVERLOOK WHAT NYC HAS DONE HERE IN THIS "L"!! @NYCSPITZ is an egotistical, sometimes abrasive (roided-up) asshole. But who cares? He's one of the greatest who eva' done it... Here, with an effortless (IMO) "first half written, 2nd half keystyled" Let's push Eviction to bring his best stuff while I stunt with half the length of a

PSEUDO @dead man VERSE.
@Lars and I have tried it. Me twice, Lars once. And both of ours were entertaining. Links if you ask.
But, NYC I think has out-done both of us here. Just based on the buttery first 2/3rds of his dope piece which would beat average contenders and lucky champs but not a Top-form rhyme-wizard hungry for belt @Eviction

Sorry that my theme was I didn't like the endings.
But thought the beginnings and middles were so sick in their own rites.
Eviction with the imagery-packed rhyme fest and NYC with the flow of the century beginning dead man NAILED IT both.