Backpack Juice nigga
 

Searching for questions and it turned to an internal quest
paid to much attention now im in debt, I'm losing myself
no morals no rest yeah i'm weak and I'm stressed,
look a younglin, fetching for his true self he looks like a total bitch
Head low, hoodie zoned on his playlist, likely stoned kid
could never stay grounded no matter how much you ground him
FUCK IT. they all phony fuck society they act like they all know me
It really doesn't matter how much i blabber my feelings oh please
they'll nod quietly turn they backs and then just call me crazy
yup always feels alone, unknown a gnome to this world
like his words carry no meaning even webster would ignore
runned over by this earths egostical force, only if he learned to ignore
instead, control those thoughts in his head only then he can glow..

This was cool, content carried the piece an the flow backed it but I felt it was a bit simple at times an could be reworded to help express the apathetic parts more an even make it flow better with stronger rhymes. Not bad tho bruh just tryna help, keep droppin man

thnks dude. bumper sticker.

what does internal quest mean.

This was way too simplistic. I mean, the words weren't even words sometimes: "younglin," "runned," "egostical."

You need to buckle down and consider your words as you select them. The content jumped around a lot, which can be find if it's interesting. But the individual lines were thin, cliché and poorly rhymed.

This was the part I liked the most:

The reason I liked that was because you created a concrete image and used a nice twist on a phrase. The rhyme didn't work even as a slant, but I suppose the internals could keep it from failing completely.

Work on developing images like that, and do it using stronger rhymes.

Trying to find yourself.