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-   -   WEEK 7: Coop 0-0 VS JamieBaby 0-0 JAMIE WINS (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=145566)

UPN Zuch 11-18-2020 09:39 PM

WEEK 7: Coop 0-0 VS JamieBaby 0-0 JAMIE WINS
 
Welcome to the NBL

Rules

Line limit

Minimum: 10

Maximum: 16

Verses due 11:59pm EST November 19, 2020 (Thursday)

Extensions are granted automatically. 24-hour max. MUST BE REQUESTED BY DEADLINE


Good luck, gentlemen

Coop 11-18-2020 10:05 PM

10-12

UPN Zuch 11-18-2020 10:13 PM

Jamie told me he’s checking in and 12 is good

Ajax 11-19-2020 01:58 PM

Please tell me this is actually Jamie.

Coop 11-19-2020 02:23 PM

I was actually wondering the same. Is this her or some random dude

UPN Zuch 11-19-2020 02:39 PM

He’s a real dude. Promise.

UPN Zuch 11-19-2020 07:01 PM

Jamie can only go 10..



Roll up old school, matter fact I’m through with the gat
They gonna know me in Cooper’s town, for the things I do with this bat
Please stop voting, I’m a controlled contender
Breaking down peoples verses with “Nah’s” but still can’t put your own together
My team does dirt for that cash so the check will kick in
We hold it down for the rebellion, you go down on Rebel Wilson
Ruger loaded, waste this tall and scrawny
Dyno starts singin’ and you’ll find your kids in a dirt nap, that’s Barney
Voters be talkin’, best believe I’m toxic with words
Coop is in ‘A League Of Their Own’, for real he just lost to a girl

Coop 11-19-2020 07:14 PM

Please.


JaimeBaby? They say he's crazy. Overweight & lazy. Gay & may be 80?
I'd slay his lady, but she'd gimme 300 pounds like it's a fair weigh to pay me
And here's the deal: Jaime still broke as a car w/ no steering wheel
Cuz he works the corner as a queer in heels, but the makeup don't mask the fear he feels
You can't Trump me. You're Biden your time, hoping to snag some rare votes
If his confidence is sky high, it's cuz he's only called "good" using AIR QUOTES
They wouldn't dare quote your bizarre lil flow. Big groans, yeah we already know:
You couldn't deliver fire if you had flint stones and the car from the show
Your bars'll just show you're lame & I'm ruthless. Truth is, you're only a wimp
Instead of a no name, claim to be Zuch's bitch. At least you'd get votes from the simps

dull boy 11-19-2020 10:39 PM

Vote - JB

Coop 11-19-2020 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dull boy (Post 793187)
Vote - JB

FOH do a real vote

Answer 11-19-2020 11:35 PM

Roll up old school, matter fact I’m through with the gat
They gonna know me in Cooper’s town, for the things I do with this bat

cool opener, i dig it

Please stop voting, I’m a controlled contender
Breaking down peoples verses with “Nah’s” but still can’t put your own together

kinda tempted to just say "nah". this is ok, but not a huge hit

My team does dirt for that cash so the check will kick in
We hold it down for the rebellion, you go down on Rebel Wilson

wasnt feeling this

Ruger loaded, waste this tall and scrawny
Dyno starts singin’ and you’ll find your kids in a dirt nap, that’s Barney

is dyno the name of your gun? this ones a miss for me

Voters be talkin’, best believe I’m toxic with words
Coop is in ‘A League Of Their Own’, for real he just lost to a girl

ok closer


JaimeBaby? They say he's crazy. Overweight & lazy. Gay & may be 80?
I'd slay his lady, but she'd gimme 300 pounds like it's a fair weigh to pay me

not feeling it, and all the internal rhyming feels more excessive and forced than smooth

And here's the deal: Jaime still broke as a car w/ no steering wheel
Cuz he works the corner as a queer in heels, but the makeup don't mask the fear he feels

meh, the idea is ok at best but the execution is a big miss for me

You can't Trump me. You're Biden your time, hoping to snag some rare votes
If his confidence is sky high, it's cuz he's only called "good" using AIR QUOTES

no to the closing punch and the trump/biden wp was pretty cringe for a couple reasons

They wouldn't dare quote your bizarre lil flow. Big groans, yeah we already know:
You couldn't deliver fire if you had flint stones and the car from the show

the ideas here just dont fully connect with each other

Your bars'll just show you're lame & I'm ruthless. Truth is, you're only a wimp
Instead of a no name, claim to be Zuch's bitch. At least you'd get votes from the simps

ok closer, but doesnt register as much more than a jab

jamie's opener was probably the only noteworthy line in the battle

v/ jamie

fraze 11-20-2020 05:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamieBaby (Post 793170)
Roll up old school, matter fact I’m through with the gat
They gonna know me in Cooper’s town, for the things I do with this bat
this was nice
Please stop voting, I’m a controlled contender
Breaking down peoples verses with “Nah’s” but still can’t put your own together
works as a personal but statementish. this would have hit if you had a flip in your punch
My team does dirt for that cash so the check will kick in
We hold it down for the rebellion, you go down on Rebel Wilson
meh
Ruger loaded, waste this tall and scrawny
Dyno starts singin’ and you’ll find your kids in a dirt nap, that’s Barney
like the concept but wording isn't quite there
Voters be talkin’, best believe I’m toxic with words
Coop is in ‘A League Of Their Own’, for real he just lost to a girl
this is light. you should have set up the league of their own with a baseball reference to make it hit

Quote:

Originally Posted by Coop (Post 793177)
JaimeBaby? They say he's crazy. Overweight & lazy. Gay & may be 80?
I'd slay his lady, but she'd gimme 300 pounds like it's a fair weigh to pay me
cool multis. i see the flip but its light (no irony)
And here's the deal: Jaime still broke as a car w/ no steering wheel
Cuz he works the corner as a queer in heels, but the makeup don't mask the fear he feels
multis and descriptive but this isnt a topical. if you don't have a punch its a wasted bar
You can't Trump me. You're Biden your time, hoping to snag some rare votes
If his confidence is sky high, it's cuz he's only called "good" using AIR QUOTES
if you're doing unrelated setup/closer they should both be able to stand on their own. setup is light wp, closer is going for wit but also light
They wouldn't dare quote your bizarre lil flow. Big groans, yeah we already know:
You couldn't deliver fire if you had flint stones and the car from the show
this is ok. but for the record, anyone would have trouble running deliveries in the flintstones car. it's not a very efficient vehicle outside of cartoons
Your bars'll just show you're lame & I'm ruthless. Truth is, you're only a wimp
Instead of a no name, claim to be Zuch's bitch. At least you'd get votes from the simps
this would hit better if this Jamie isn't that Jamie. But I think this Jamie is that Jamie.

JB: Opener was the only quote. "Nahs" had potential and so did closer. This was cool, looks like you're learning the ropes but looking forward to reading more.

Coop: Feels like you are coming over from topicals b/c i see a lot of traces of that in your style. I would avoid bars that aren't focused around some sort of punch. Punch = harsh statement + cleverness. If you're missing either part it doesn't work. Some of your bars weren't harsh enough (opener, air quotes, flintstones). Others didn't have a flip and were too statementish (queer, air quotes). Closer was ok.

Vote: JamieBaby - relatively close battle. both had their strong points and low points and seem to be figuring out battle verses. Jamie takes this with the LOTB opener.

Wanderer 11-20-2020 06:06 AM

Roll up old school, matter fact I’m through with the gat
They gonna know me in Cooper’s town, for the things I do with this bat
Not bad but reaching a bit calling him cooper
Please stop voting, I’m a controlled contender
Breaking down peoples verses with “Nah’s” but still can’t put your own together
It’s ok, kinda light
My team does dirt for that cash so the check will kick in
We hold it down for the rebellion, you go down on Rebel Wilson
Wording’s been on point so far which is helping but this is light again
Ruger loaded, waste this tall and scrawny
Dyno starts singin’ and you’ll find your kids in a dirt nap, that’s Barney
Not feeling
Voters be talkin’, best believe I’m toxic with words
Coop is in ‘A League Of Their Own’, for real he just lost to a girl
Not great

Vs

JaimeBaby? They say he's crazy. Overweight & lazy. Gay & may be 80?
I'd slay his lady, but she'd gimme 300 pounds like it's a fair weigh to pay me
U don’t need so many multi’s crammed in like this man, spoils the flow.. not sure there’s a punch here either
And here's the deal: Jaime still broke as a car w/ no steering wheel
Cuz he works the corner as a queer in heels, but the makeup don't mask the fear he feels
This is just weird.. at best it’s getting kinda poetic but no real punch
You can't Trump me. You're Biden your time, hoping to snag some rare votes
If his confidence is sky high, it's cuz he's only called "good" using AIR QUOTES
Kinda corny setup.. however, I like this concept a lot.. coulda been executed better but this is your best so far
They wouldn't dare quote your bizarre lil flow. Big groans, yeah we already know:
You couldn't deliver fire if you had flint stones and the car from the show
It's ok..
Your bars'll just show you're lame & I'm ruthless. Truth is, you're only a wimp
Instead of a no name, claim to be Zuch's bitch. At least you'd get votes from the simps
It’s an ok closer

I don’t know wtf is going on here with JB and whether Zuch is trolling or not buttt... my confusion aside, JB has enough consistency to take this and came off cooler and more impactful. Coop has sting taken away from him in that a lot of his shit feels corny.. his misses were also worse.


Vote JB

Eviction 11-20-2020 03:28 PM

@Coop
When it comes to multies on here less is more, I think I had the same problem a few weeks ago, less rhymes and more punches will take your farther, try not to make your bars gender specific because you shot your self in the foot as your opponent is a girl and you wrote for a guy, broke as a car with no steering wheel is basic, I didn't really feel anything from the verse.

@Jamie
I liked can't put your own together, you go down on rebel wilson was funny I didn't like the rest of that bar, lost to a girl wasn't really creative or nothing but it hit.

v/jamie for having a more creative verse, coop needs to tighten up his wording.

Coop 11-20-2020 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eviction (Post 793252)
@Coop
When it comes to multies on here less is more, I think I had the same problem a few weeks ago, less rhymes and more punches will take your farther, try not to make your bars gender specific because you shot your self in the foot as your opponent is a girl and you wrote for a guy, broke as a car with no steering wheel is basic, I didn't really feel anything from the verse.

@Jamie
I liked can't put your own together, you go down on rebel wilson was funny I didn't like the rest of that bar, lost to a girl wasn't really creative or nothing but it hit.

v/jamie for having a more creative verse, coop needs to tighten up his wording.

This isnt that jaime

UPN Zuch 11-20-2020 06:25 PM

I got coop in this one

Jamie fell off after the opener


Coop can do better but was more consistent and had more effort


Vote coop

FGR 11-21-2020 08:03 AM

Opener
Closer

Vs

Air quotes
Flintstones

Vote coop

Close battle..both had missed and both had shit I barely quoted...the cooper opener I barely quoted.. was ok but his name ain't cooper so meh... Coop needs to cut back on some kulties and get more direct with his punch.. overall I feel he took it with better attempts..but need to step it up next week.. no hate

Ajax 11-22-2020 12:43 PM

This was a weird battle to me. Jaime’s opening line was the best in the battle.. but the closer didn’t make any sense unless this actually is that Jamie.. and I thought the latter half of Jaime’s verse fell off a fair amount.

Coop relied on what we used to call wordplay (like Kool G Rap style multis), which I know everyone here now thinks is worthless but I don’t mind, if it’s well executed... It just wasn’t that great here (although I lol’d a little at the fear he feels jab). The real problem with Coop’s verse was the overall wording was awkward and the concepts were fairly basic. But, it was consistently right above average.

So, essentially... it was Jaime with much better cadence/wording and the best line of the battle, but with a few limes at the end that fell off.. vs a consistently average, but kinda awkward verse.

I guess I give it to Jaime in a toss-up... but, you both got some things to work on.


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