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-   -   WEEK 6: Scout 1-0 VS Mac 2-2 SCOUT WINS (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=145461)

UPN Zuch 11-09-2020 03:58 AM

WEEK 6: Scout 1-0 VS Mac 2-2 SCOUT WINS
 
Welcome to the NBL

Rules

Line limit

Minimum: 10

Maximum: 16

Verses due 11:59pm EST November 12, 2020 (Thursday)

Extensions are granted automatically. 24-hour max. MUST BE REQUESTED BY DEADLINE


Good luck, gentlemen

Mac 11-09-2020 07:50 AM

check! 10

Scout 11-09-2020 02:42 PM

Okay!

Scout 11-09-2020 05:14 PM

I could be his father...

Who's his mother NOT seen? That cock fiend was born to hump
Slept w/ so many men Back to Back, it inspired vietnam scenes in forrest gump
The dirty slut'll toss, as over 30 fuck her box ..
If I'm horny, it's jeffrey dahmer...when I want attorneys just in shock
Bend the hoe over my jaguar to show her mileage
Fully spread across the hood more ways than the coronavirus
M16 to the side as I slam her sideways and she screams..
Then pull out and spray her bra..like his uncle being in the driveway when I leave
Assault rifle talks for days. Never lets ya walk away
I gotta chop ermac, and it'll go thru you better than baraka's blades
Over 40 straps.. I wield all 'em
Tote that k like an old catchphrase...leaving this holy makerel problem
No leg locks or armbars when I attack. It's lunch time
The only dislocating I do would be easier if you had a punchline
Brown-nose champ, hoping zuchie will come props back...
You couldn't handle bro. I Stand Alone..you a groupie among Godsmack

16 @Mac

Mac 11-12-2020 09:46 AM

EXT

Mac 11-13-2020 05:56 PM

Scooooooooout?

you can't hide.. dude you're all over da place
bitch got russian IP records that could rival twitter's database
I get it man, hard to pull up like your enemies do
hell, if Hush dissed my bald chest i'd scout other identities too
his girl aint buyin that insecurity, not a bad guy she thought
talk bout irony in a boy scout that never been able to tie the knot
piratin 4 you is torrentin movies cuz u cant make bank
piratin 4 me is pushin ur girl to the eeedge like shes walkin the plank
i murdered ya in our last match... not that it matters
i mean u DID get respect as Quiz wound up w/ more F's than answers
this shit needs a limit cuz Zuch's son is bein abused a lot
that kids growin up with FEAR saying barc 3 times will summon the Fatbot
he doesn't contribute shit to the culture and never will
you're so pointless I find more meaning in who pays UPN bills
Cronus you should just quit, I dont think you've ever been a hit
congrats on being a HOF & being the FIRST one nominated out of it

Eviction 11-13-2020 06:40 PM

@Scout
that forest gump bar was humorous, there is a wording issue here, for instance what does who's his mother not seen mean? it just sound weird. if you had a punchline was cool, the rest was gunplay and threats that didn't really hit.
@Mac
twitters database was cool, scout other identities was cool, I think you started to fall off towards the end, but you had almost every bar at least hit scout in some way, I liked your personal attacks too.

I think mac got this one TBH, I liked his approach to personals, there was a lot of threat type bars in scouts verse that didn't really have nothing to do with his opponent, this is only by a hair though.

dull boy 11-13-2020 08:47 PM

Vote - Mac

Scout new identities lol

Ajax 11-14-2020 03:08 PM

This was a little weird to call. The first half of Scout’s verse focused too hard on an extended set of punches about fucking his mom. Seemed too much like an Aero scene. Then the rest had gunbars and too much wordplay (for my tastes) and plays on Mac’s name. That said, there were several really clever concepts (back to back was really well done).

Mac’s verse was more straight forward and had less stretches, but it wasn’t as clever, IMO.

I guess it depends on preference. Ultimately, I tend to go with better concepts as long as the wording isn’t all over the place, and Scout had those. So, all in all, I think Scout took it.

Good read, fellas.

Wanderer 11-15-2020 06:53 AM

Scout

Forrest Gump creative and cool
Jeffrey dahmer cool
Dislocating that was dope

Mac

Identities was a cool take
Tie the knot creative and cool

These were the standouts for me

Overall I slightly preferred Scout. Was a close one to call though..

Vote scout

fraze 11-15-2020 07:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scout (Post 791904)
Who's his mother NOT seen? That cock fiend was born to hump
Slept w/ so many men Back to Back, it inspired vietnam scenes in forrest gump
this is cool
The dirty slut'll toss, as over 30 fuck her box ..
If I'm horny, it's jeffrey dahmer...when I want attorneys just in shock
see the wp, but bad wording
Bend the hoe over my jaguar to show her mileage
Fully spread across the hood more ways than the coronavirus
ok
M16 to the side as I slam her sideways and she screams..
Then pull out and spray her bra..like his uncle being in the driveway when I leave
don't like this
Assault rifle talks for days. Never lets ya walk away
I gotta chop ermac, and it'll go thru you better than baraka's blades
not feeling this
Over 40 straps.. I wield all 'em
Tote that k like an old catchphrase...leaving this holy makerel problem
doesn't rhyme or make sense to me
No leg locks or armbars when I attack. It's lunch time
The only dislocating I do would be easier if you had a punchline
cool concept, but isn't worded to hit
Brown-nose champ, hoping zuchie will come props back...
You couldn't handle bro. I Stand Alone..you a groupie among Godsmack
don't get this

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mac (Post 792365)
you can't hide.. dude you're all over da place
bitch got russian IP records that could rival twitter's database
concept is ok, but don't see the punch
I get it man, hard to pull up like your enemies do
hell, if Hush dissed my bald chest i'd scout other identities too
cool rhyme. light punch
his girl aint buyin that insecurity, not a bad guy she thought
talk bout irony in a boy scout that never been able to tie the knot
liked the concept. wording a little off
piratin 4 you is torrentin movies cuz u cant make bank
piratin 4 me is pushin ur girl to the eeedge like shes walkin the plank
nope
i murdered ya in our last match... not that it matters
i mean u DID get respect as Quiz wound up w/ more F's than answers
doesn't rhyme or make sense to me
this shit needs a limit cuz Zuch's son is bein abused a lot
that kids growin up with FEAR saying barc 3 times will summon the Fatbot
humorous but punch is weak
he doesn't contribute shit to the culture and never will
you're so pointless I find more meaning in who pays UPN bills
nah
Cronus you should just quit, I dont think you've ever been a hit
congrats on being a HOF & being the FIRST one nominated out of it
meh

Scout had forest gump and corona virus. Started stronger but had more misses later in his verse.

Mac had the boy scout line, didn't like much else. Definitely had some cool concepts but need stronger punches.

Vote: Scout

UserName 11-15-2020 08:15 AM

Scout -

Who's his mother NOT seen? That cock fiend was born to hump
Slept w/ so many men Back to Back, it inspired vietnam scenes in forrest gump
M16 to the side as I slam her sideways and she screams..
Then pull out and spray her bra..like his uncle being in the driveway when I leave
Assault rifle talks for days. Never lets ya walk away
I gotta chop ermac, and it'll go thru you better than baraka's blades

Mac -

I get it man, hard to pull up like your enemies do
hell, if Hush dissed my bald chest i'd scout other identities too

Some cool ideas in the rest of Mac's verse but the wording kinda killed them. Scout, I enjoyed most of the lines that didn't have wordplay and like 2 of the ones that did. In the end, easy win - even the ones I didn't enjoy were probably a smidge better than Mac's.

V - Scout

Destroyer 11-15-2020 01:24 PM

Godamamit Mac I told you to send me your verse
You are getting a lot better and just need a little tightening up on the wording and the harshness because your concepts are there. 100%. I really really just am not a fan of “scout’s” style. I see what works. There’s significantly more effort being made at making the wordplays go both ways. To me though, just working, isn’t enough for a wordplay punch to wow me. And that’s all I’m getting out of the wordplay punches here. Still enough happening to barely eke out a win over Mac

V/“scout”

Sharp 11-15-2020 02:07 PM

I'm voting because the homie Mac deserves feed

I very strongly feel that this should not have been 16. If you guys had gone 10 this would've been a much better battle.


Who's his mother NOT seen? That cock fiend was born to hump
Slept w/ so many men Back to Back, it inspired vietnam scenes in forrest gump
really specific reference to an old movie but cool
The dirty slut'll toss, as over 30 fuck her box ..
If I'm horny, it's jeffrey dahmer...when I want attorneys just in shock
I just generally find this kind of bar bad. I know some great bars are basically puns, but if its such a stretch it needs the right accent you're putting it on the reader to go 'a tore knees? a tourney's? a turn he's?' which just takes away from the impact.
Bend the hoe over my jaguar to show her mileage
Fully spread across the hood more ways than the coronavirus
workable concept but too simple in execution
M16 to the side as I slam her sideways and she screams..
Then pull out and spray her bra..like his uncle being in the driveway when I leave
this is worst of both worlds - the bra flip is overly simple but you're trying to do too much with it and it ends up with 'attorneys' level 'wtf
Assault rifle talks for days. Never lets ya walk away
I gotta chop ermac, and it'll go thru you better than baraka's blades
that's the spirit. If it's good enough for Allen Knight it's good enough for you. The pattern of emphasis is off though, chopper mac emphasizing CHOPper MAC and chop ermac being CHOP ERmac.. unless I completely misremember how to pronounce Ermac
Over 40 straps.. I wield all 'em
Tote that k like an old catchphrase...leaving this holy makerel problem
same as attorneys. not great
No leg locks or armbars when I attack. It's lunch time
The only dislocating I do would be easier if you had a punchline
pretty good
Brown-nose champ, hoping zuchie will come props back...
You couldn't handle bro. I Stand Alone..you a groupie among Godsmack
Godsmack/Gods Mac is much smother than your other nameflips. Had to google it so it lost impatc but I knew what to google, so thanks. Setup probably could've supported the 'I stand alone' part because that comes out of nowhere


you can't hide.. dude you're all over da place
bitch got russian IP records that could rival twitter's database
cool concept, but its a little too simple with delivery
I get it man, hard to pull up like your enemies do
hell, if Hush dissed my bald chest i'd scout other identities too
scout other identities is quality but I don't know if 'Hush dissed my bald chest' is how that should've started. it's a bit distracting since the idea of your bar has nothing to do with his chest
his girl aint buyin that insecurity, not a bad guy she thought
talk bout irony in a boy scout that never been able to tie the knot
setup is kind of related but trying to do too much in some ways, not enough in outhers. boy scout/tie the knot is very workable, but you would have been better off keeping it simpler with something along the lines of 'can't get a girl'. Also, nitpicky, but I'd consider what 'tie the knot' means a little more - 'never been able to' isn't as effective as something along the lines of 'no chance of'
piratin 4 you is torrentin movies cuz u cant make bank
piratin 4 me is pushin ur girl to the eeedge like shes walkin the plank
lol. never been a huge fan of this kind of delivery of 'eeedge' leaned me. cool
i murdered ya in our last match... not that it matters
i mean u DID get respect as Quiz wound up w/ more F's than answers
'more F's than answers' is something, but kind of confusing - not sure what exactly you mean, but if you suspect he's quiz, this was a winning concept that needed more time to develop.
this shit needs a limit cuz Zuch's son is bein abused a lot
that kids growin up with FEAR saying barc 3 times will summon the Fatbot
I love the discord memery here but most people voting aren't in the discord. If they read your setup, they're looking at this going 'what about zuch and child abuse?' need to know your audience better. It's a funny bar but not a strong diss and the joke will definitely be lost on the audience unless Zuch makes the pic of '3 ingredients curry' above his son's crib more widely seen
he doesn't contribute shit to the culture and never will
you're so pointless I find more meaning in who pays UPN bills
very statementy. Guessing you ran out of steam here.
Cronus you should just quit, I dont think you've ever been a hit
congrats on being a HOF & being the FIRST one nominated out of it
again, a statement. Not ideal, but if you have a statement like this, you could use some misdirection - like, over the top 'congrats' sentiment for the first half of your punchline, then about the nomination thing at the end

Adverse's 5th/6th lines are an example of what I'm talking about:
http://www.netcees.org/showpost.php?...92&postcount=4

that was quality misdirection that took the basic 'shredded' flip to another level

yes @Adverse it's known you're good


so I got like 2.3 punches to 1.5. Sincerely hope both of you focus on quality over quantity in the future and Mac doesn't wait until the last minute

v/scout


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