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-   -   maple (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=145387)

big baby 11-01-2020 04:21 AM

maple
 
what do you feel, when you simply apply the sentience?
besides wall pinning. the drizzling fire sessions
momentary silence, pin drop in an empty room
padded wall. effervescent, and sensual
feeling your feminine voice
telegraph vibrations through many a noise
millenias not enough time to fix things we destroyed
i feel violated. pass me the void
barely observant. just an impressionable boy
unpacking post traumatical memory noise
your electrical currents, blend into words
ready to work, to have me possessed, like your serveant
invested, alluring. the rest is concerning
subway network connecting my brain
muscle memory. where her head would lay
tapping longing lust in this mental frame
karma sucks & its seems that way
cause i feel she turns the other cheek when i plead my case
you chisel streaked your name on my torso

i call them the oujia board hormones
you summon them like youre playing a game

heart strings tug at your loves centerpiece
commanding nerve endings to all rise like a judge entering
the ultimate meaning, what so many fear
meeting the puppeteer to this compulsory feeling
surgeon who writes cursive in different languages, slurring
in the OR tugging fleshy strings with insatiable thirsting
like water to rivers, drought cleansing downpour
crowned thorn. your love was the last remaining oasis outsourced

dead man 11-04-2020 12:33 AM

heart strings tug at your loves centerpiece
commanding nerve endings to all rise like a judge entering

eeeeeeee

fiercely beautiful, as eng would say. i'm beat down otherwise i would say something more helpful

thanks

Universe 11-04-2020 09:44 AM

Well done, bb.

http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=145420

Sign up, you two^^ ... big baby vs. dead man for topical supremacy...


Then the winner can face me. :)

Eŋg 11-04-2020 12:28 PM

excellent writing. feels very carefully phrased but the language is playful. themes drip through the progression of the piece. subtle in places, hard to miss in others.

Split Eight 11-18-2020 01:49 AM

I loved this

Objective 11-22-2020 08:53 AM

your electrical currents, blend into words
ready to work, to have me possessed, like your serveant
invested, alluring. the rest is concerning
^Your choice of words and structure is captivating af, you pack a shitload into few words and bring a train of meaning along with it

Like Split Eight said: I loved this


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