because we're living too long
 

i'll be
happy to lay here and its probably likely
the time has come, the Walrus said, to call it a night
walking Northwest chasing all of the lights
dragging whips and chains I left rihanna the knife
calmly reciting Auld Lang Syne. firing shots at the sky
they read my palm and told me I had already died
its constant vibration from some other Beside
parallel preamble this preposterous ride
Columnist Prime. the singularity in multiple minds
the thousand deaths prevented with a thoughtful reply
modern Poseidon. alcoholic on a raft in the Styx
calling in a favor so they cancel the trip
smoking hash & plotting on a plan to get rich
dreaming of a genie bottle, grant me a wish
pattern persistent building diagrams to map out our distance
slaves to false recoveries and matter contingents
battle resistance like insulin in fatty intestines
nobody in our nebula is half as consistent
lying dormant time capsule rooted in ice
giving lectures, taking stranger's stupid advice
moonrise kingdom love machine in need of a fix
needle pierce the vinyl spilling heroin drip
parallel prisoners, filing cabinet homes
a living experiment of where unhappiness goes
you can catch me Lackin often. leather jacket, plastic garden
laughing over carcasses I soak it in like data cartridge
half retarded ragamuffin jamming clams in santa barbara
calling out for something new. listening to static softly
ripple across. waveform digital pond
evolving to destroy us cause we're living too long





dm

I don't even know how to describe what I read it wasn't really like reading a hip hop verse, though the flow was excellent it was just like an experience. Imagery and vocabulary were out of this world. And I like how layered this was how it was so braggadocious at points at first sight but then there was so much more to it from the northwest bar onwards. Really loved the closer too had that vintage hip hop feel was really definitive and thought provoking you're one of the best for a reason. Props bro

Anyone else inspired? I know I am...

This is THE guy when it comes to imagery and flow... no one touches him.

Great read, dead man. Thank you.

i'll be
happy to lay here and its probably likely
the time has come, the Walrus said, to call it a night
walking Northwest chasing all of the lights
dragging whips and chains I left rihanna the knife
calmly reciting Auld Lang Syne. firing shots at the sky
they read my palm and told me I had already died
its constant vibration from some other Beside
parallel preamble this preposterous ride
Columnist Prime. the singularity in multiple minds
the thousand deaths prevented with a thoughtful reply

Woah!...

You have a gift Black...visuals for days.

Up

I'm trying to figure out whether or not I'm being to harsh in my criticisms because of a similarity in voters fatigue, or the fact that this might've not been the most polished of your works.

The fact of the matter is that this is very good, the imagery is always there, and the ability to weave words to sound intense, to convey that certain meaning you wish to invoke, is definitely present. The problem here is that, I don't know if those words were actually that thought provoking, that intense, or the imagery conveyed was either lost in translation from when it traveled from the page to my brain.

Either way - this was fun to read, and I enjoyed it.

I'm going to bold the lines I felt matched the aura of the initial vibe I was getting, and I'm going to leave the ones that I felt didnt' - unbolded from this particular passage.

edit: I'm going to italicize the ones that I felt were cool, but I'm not sure where exactly to go with them - they fit the bill, but perhaps its imposter syndrome??

nobody in our nebula is half as consistent
lying dormant time capsule rooted in ice
giving lectures, taking stranger's stupid advice
moonrise kingdom love machine in need of a fix
needle pierce the vinyl spilling heroin drip
parallel prisoners, filing cabinet homes
a living experiment of where unhappiness goes
you can catch me Lackin often. leather jacket, plastic garden
laughing over carcasses I soak it in like data cartridge
half retarded ragamuffin jamming clams in santa barbara
calling out for something new. listening to static softly
ripple across. waveform digital pond
evolving to destroy us cause we're living too long


Maybe I overthought the meaning of it entirely. Purely written, but to me, at times it seemed misguided. Dope, though.